Crush
by allthingsfun
Summary: When one person has a crush on somebody it could lead to many possibilities. Could a simple crush turn into love? Songfic.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious or the characters.**

**Had this idea in my head, so I thought to try it out. So Enjoy :)**

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I've never noticed before but, now I truly know why he fell for her. How could you not have fallen for someone **_that_** beautiful and breath taking? I couldn't see it before but, now I do. Behind the rudeness, the bad attitude, and the pure hatred towards everything, behind it all, was something extremely extraordinary. Once you get past the horrible and ugly walls, you find something absolutely beautiful. And that's exactly what Beck did, he broke down all her walls, something I couldn't do. And that is how someone like Beck was able to win over Jades heart. And that is how he is the one to kiss her goodbye, hold her hand, and say "I love you" to. That is why everywhere you go there always together. No matter when or where. There always together. Even at lunch, they have their own table. They have a table, just for them, which is why there sitting together and why i'm sitting alone. Daydreaming on what could have been if that were** _me_ **instead of him.

"Hey Tori, you okay?" I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn't even notice Andre sat down next to me.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, it looked like something was bothering you." Little did he know something was definitely bothering me.

"Yeah i'm fine, I just…have a lot on my mind that's all."

"Well, if you need anything, remember you can always come to me right?"

"Yeah, I know." I smile at Andre. I take him for granted sometimes, he really is a good friend, and I know I can really count on him. But I hate lying to people because, to be totally honest i'm anything but fine. If anything i'm scared, confused, worried, jealous, angry, and ashamed. But most of all, every time I see her with him, all I feel is heartbroken. Knowing that this could all end up in flames, it's best if I keep these feelings to myself.

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Thank you and please review :D


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious or the characters.**

**Enjoy :)**

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This wasn't planned at all, I never meant for this to happen. But as they say the heart wants what the heart wants. And that couldn't be truer, you can't choose who you fall in love with, because if I could, I would have chosen the person that's currently with me. But instead my heart beats for the girl right across the hall. Every second, of every hour, of everyday, my mind has been on her. Nothing but her.

"Hey Jade, you good?"

"What? Oh, yeah, i'm fine." No i'm not fine.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, Beck everything's fine." Is everything really fine? I ask myself. No its not, here I am standing with Beck at my locker, with his arms around draped over mine and all I can think about is Vega. This is someone i'm supposed to hate, not someone i'm supposed to think about. But I can't help myself; she's hard not to think about, when she's always popping up in my head. Why though? Why is it when I have an extremely hot boyfriend, that all the girls want, I still end up thinking about Vega. Why is it that every time I kiss Beck, all I can think is what it would be like to taste her lips instead of his? Realization kicks in right when I see Vega at her locker. I stare at her as I finally get my answer to all those burning questions. And the answer scared the crap out of me. There was no way it could be true, could it? There's only one word for what i'm feeling but, I hope to God i'm wrong.

"Jade?"

"Uh, what?" I look at Beck to see him giving me a worried look.

"I asked you if wanted to go see a movie tonight?"

"Oh, yeah, sure." I look back at Vega and see she's reling her eyeliner, which is unnecessary because a girl like her really doesn't need it. She's already beatif-

"Jade?"

"What?!"

"I asked if you were okay." Beck said looking aggravated now.

"I already told you I was."

"Sorry, it's just you keep looking at Tori and zoning out. I feel like you're not paying attention to me." I sigh and turn around to face him and look him in the eye,

"Look, I said I was fine okay, stop worrying"

"Okay, are we still on for the movie?"

"Yes, I already said we were."

"Okay I'll pick up at 5." He says before kissing my cheek and walking away to his class. I turn to my locker and sneak a peek at Vega, to find her staring at me. She quickly moves her eyes away once she sees me, then shuts her locker and walks away. I sigh and shake my head while looking down at the ground. These thoughts in my head need to disappear before, it turns into something bad.

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**Sorry the chapters are short but, I promise they will get longer. Thank you for reading and please review. :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**Enjoy :)**

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Unrequited love is the absolute worst. The feeling of finding out you mean nothing to the person who means everything to you. It has to be the worst feeling imaginable. And unfortunately for me that's exactly what i'm going through. This feeling I get whenever I see this person, the feeling of wanting to be with them, the feeling of wanting to hold them and never let go. To know that, that feeling isn't returned back is just devastating, which is one of the reasons why i'm so depressed and angry. Seeing Beck kiss Jade, I don't know why but when I saw it, it just made me want to scream and cry. I'm not one for Jealousy but, I can't lie and say I didn't feel any when I saw them together. If people guessed, they would think I was jealous of jade for having a very good looking boyfriend. Even though I can't blame them, there all wrong. I'm not jealous of jade for having Beck, i'm jealous of Beck of having Jade. Jealous of how he knows for sure that if he said "I love you"  
to Jade, he would get the "I love you too" back. Knowing that being with Jade will never happen just breaks my heart.

"Tori?" I was conflicted in my thoughts I didn't even heat Cat call my name.

"Oh, yeah, hey Cat."

"Aren't you excited?" Cat says smiling at me excitement clearly plastered on her face.

"Excited? Excited about what?"

"The talent show ,dugh?! Weren't you paying attention?" I was too busy thinking about Jade that I didn't even here the announcement of the talent  
show. Just goes to show you how much I think about Jade. I got to stop thinking about Jade at important times like this.

"Hey Cat when-" I didn't get to finish because just then bell had decide to ring, releasing everybody to go home. I gathered my things and headed  
out of my R and B class and made my way to my locker. As I walk to my locker I noticed Jade isn't at her locker and remembering that she has Beck, leaves me out of guessing on where she might be. I sigh as I open my locker and put my books  
away. After I finish with my locker a wait for Trina to show up and while I wait I see Andre make his way over to me.

"Hey Andre." I say while giving him a smile.

"Hey tor." He says while looking down at his pear phone. "Did you hear about the talent show?"

"Sort of I zoned out, when is it?"

"It's this Friday. Did you want to sign up for it?"

"Sure why not? Sounds fun."

"Cool let me know if you need any help with your song."

"Wait how did you even know I was going to sing?"

"Tori you're my best friend, I know you too well. And besides with a voice like yours the only thing you could do is sing."Andre says while smiling at me and walking away. Well it looks like i'm singing at the talent show I think as I smile at myself.

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**Thank you for reading and please review. :D**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious or the characters.**

**Enjoy :)**

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Lying in bed, looking up at the celling, I think about this week's events. There's supposed to be a talent show, when do we ever have talent shows in the first place? Only half of the people in this school have real talent, me being one of those people. I debate on whether I should sign up or not. Seeming that talent shows are too boring for me, in decide against it. Although people say I sing well and this I know but, if anything my real talent is writing. I love writing and I hope to be a director someday, which is why I don't care enough to sing for the show. Not that I don't think I can sing , I already establish that I can, but why waste time on something I don't really care about. The whole talent show and showcases are for the people who want to be auto tune pop stars in my opinion, that's not my scene. I don't want to be a pop star therefore I don't see why I should sing in the show, as for me I'll show my talent one day when I see my first film I made in theatres. I don't care enough to sign up and sing for other people's enjoyment, but I know somebody who would care: Vega. She's the perfect example for those people who have the ambition to become a sold out pop star. To further prove my theory, I go on the Slap on my phone and sure enough, it looks like I was right.

Tori Vega: Signing up for the Talent Show, don't know if I should sing a cover or write my own song?

Mood: Thinky?

I read the update and it surely peaked my interest. I wasn't planning on going at all but, now that Vega might be performing an original song, clearly has changed my mind on everything. It would be interesting to find out how much talent can progress out of Vega if she did write a song. It's easy for somebody to cover a song, anybody can do it. But it takes a lot of talent to actually write your own song. It shows that you're capable of actually possess talent. I think to myself as to what Vega's song could be about; i'm intrigued to finding out how much creativity her song could have. If Vega was writing an original song, what would it be about? I guess the only way to find out is actually showing up at the show. I set my phone down in my night stand, I get bothered at the thought that this girl gets me to do things I don't want to do. Because normally I wouldn't care who was performing what but, when I heard that Vega was performing I desperately wanted to go. I don't know why it's that why I guess it just maybe Vega affects me better than anyone else does. Ask anyone and they would have thought that Beck was supposed to make me feel this way but, he doesn't, not like she does. They'd say it be ridiculous for me to be thinking about Vega in that way but, despite all the hate I seem to have for her, I actually really like her. There's no way I'd ever admit that to her or anybody else, because just admitting that to myself, scares me enough. I was hoping to God that it wasn't rue because if I had a crush on Vega I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

I don't know when or how I started to take a liking to her but, I do know for sure that whatever feelings I have for her affect me in every possible way. I guess you could say I started to like her right when I saw her on stage, her powerful voice and amazing tan skin, and those perfect cheekbones. She was just mesmerizing to me; she made me develop a new feeling that I never felt before. Which is why I kept acting like gank to her, it scared me whenever she gave me the feeling of butterflies, and that's why I tried my best to make her feel worthless. But it soon failed when I find out that she didn't report me to Lane when she found out I faked the whole black eye thing, it made me realize that she actually isn't as bad as I think she is, In fact it made me fall for her even more. No matter how many times I've made her feel like crap she still tries' to be friends with me and I don't know why. If I met a person who tried to make my life as miserable as possible, I would avoid them the best way I can, I wouldn't try to become friends with them. So I never understood why she kept trying to be friends with me. But I can't complain because every time I think she stops trying to become my friend, the more worried I start to get, because I start to think that they'll never be a chance for me to be with her. Even though I know that the chances of me and Vega being together are very slim, I can't help but think of what it would be like. I sometimes wonder if we could actually work out. Probably not, I could list many reasons why we wouldn't work. One thing is that I'm with Beck and i'm pretty sure Vega straight, even if she wasn't, i'm pretty sure she wouldn't go for me, seeing of how badly I treat her. Who would want to be with the person that caused them so much pain? Exactly no one would and if we did get together i'm pretty sure that all I'll do is hurt her. Because that's what I do, what I've always done, I hurt the people I care about the most. That's why I need this stupid crush to go away forever.

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**Thank you and please review :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own the show or the characters.**

**This one was hard to write, so hope you Enjoy :)**

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Waking up in bed today, I didn't feel like going to school. I didn't feel like going anywhere, mostly because I feel like crap. I didn't get anything done that I was supposed to. The homework from Sikowitz class didn't do it. My room I was supposed to clean didn't clean it. Plus the song I was supposed to be writing, yeah, I didn't do it. Frankly I could say that I didn't have time to do it but, in all honesty I had plenty of time. I just chose not to do anything, not because I was too lazy but, because I couldn't focus properly. Every time I tried to write the lyrics down, my brain just fried and gave up. So I basically spent the whole entire night, tossing and throwing away paper, filled with written down lyrics that aren't any good. Great, i'm making so much progress this week. I make a mental note to myself as I try to remember to ask Andre for help with the song. I debate on whether I should tell him about the other thing that's been on my mind. Probably not a good idea, as seeing if I told him about my crush on Jade, would probably end badly. I can only imagine the damage that would be done if I ever told Jade how I really feel about her. The only thing I can guarantee is that there would be several broken hearts.

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Coffee. What would we do without it? I would just love to thank whoever the person is that made this beverage possible. People don't take me seriously when I say that I love coffee, I mean it's no lie that coffee is one of the only things I love. People don't think I love anything because I mostly hate everything, so for me to actually love something is rare, for you to be loved by me, means you have to be pretty special to me. But it's quite obvious that I have a special obsession with coffee, what I love most about it is that it helps me when I've had a crappy morning. And I definitely I had a crappy morning today. Thanks to Vega, I couldn't get any sleep last night, once again my brain just decided to keep giving me thoughts about her. The whole night consisted if me tossing and turning and having Vega in my dreams. After I woke up I found it to be too early to get ready for school, so for the rest of the night I stayed up. Every time I tried to close my eyes, it only led me back to the dream I had were as I finally confess my feelings to Vega and were together as a couple. I keep waking up frustrated and disappointed. Frustrated at how I keep having this dream haunt me and disappointed that I know this was only a dream and not a reality. So you could only guess why I feel very distraught and its only 2nd period. I barley managed not to sleep through 1st period and know that i'm by my locker, i'm finding it hard to keep my eyes open. Have you ever experienced not getting enough sleep because you were up all night, thinking about that one person? If you have then you know exactly what i'm going through, it's been like this for several days now.

The constant dreams I have and the daily thoughts in my head, it's almost like I have a deep strong crush for her. I already knew that I liked her but now that I think more on it, maybe it could be more than crush? This could explain why I've been having her stuck in my head and in my dreams. Could I be in love with Vega? No, I couldn't be, that's not possible, or is it? The girl is not hard to fall for because it's obvious she's plain gorgeous. But these thoughts, these feelings, whatever feelings I had for this girl needed to disappear. It was one thing to like her but to be in love with her was insane because, first of all as I already establish this, we would never work out. And secondly there was no way I could be in love with her, when I was with Beck. It was wrong for me to think about Vega when I have him; it's almost like cheating to have a crush on someone else, when you're already with someone. In reality it makes sense to have a crush on the person your dating, it almost makes me feel guilty to know I've been having feelings for Vega when I have Beck. It would break his heart to find out that this whole relationship has been a lie and it's all because of** _her_.** Speak of the devil, there she goes, the girl that's been causing me all of these problems without even realizing it. I watch as I see Vega at her locker, she's wearing a red shirt, with skinny jeans and red converse. Even with her presence she still causes me to have butterflies. As I stare at her I notice she has a look of tiresome on her face, could it be because she couldn't sleep last night either? Curiosity interest me as I try to read more on her facial expression only to be blocked by the chest of Beck.

"Hi" he says coldly at me. I sigh as I move my eyes away from Vega to look at Beck in the eye.

"Hi" I say not really looking interested to have a conversation right now, so I avert my eyes to my locker and prepare for my next class.

"Did you forget something last night?" Beck asks, while crossing his arms and looking at me with a look of hurtfulness.

"No" I say, I did my homework, cleaned my room, what could I have forgotten?

"Oh, so you didn't have anything important to do last night?"

"No I already said I didn't" I was getting annoyed at Becks all of a sudden random questions.

"Oh, I see, so you didn't? Are you sure you didn't make plans to go see a movie with somebody but didn't show up?" Oh, damn, I totally forgot I had plans to see a movie with Beck. How could I have forgotten? I know, it's because of**_ her_**. Guilt washes over me as I remember that I just completely forgot about Beck.

"Look, i'm sorry."

"It's one thing to forget but to not even care. I called you like a million times and I got no reply!"

"Look I already said I was sorry, jeez you act like I forgot our anniversary, would you calm down and stop overreacting?!" I say facing him, with anger in my eyes.

"What if that was our anniversary it surely shows that you would care. Would you care Jade, would you? I'm just tired of you forgetting about everything! " Beck says with an angry expression

"Well if you're so tried why don't you go find yourself a new girlfriend?" I say raising my voice a little we were staring to get loud as everyone was looking at us now, including Vega. I knew immediately that this argument had to end.

"No, look I guess, I over reacted, i'm sorry. Just promise you won't do that again" Beck says lowering his and while giving me a sorry look.

"I promise and believe me when I do say I care and i'm sorry I forgot. I just have a lot on my mind. That was the third time I said sorry, which is never good. Because I never apologized to anyone about anything but, right now I felt really guilty about hurting Beck. I'm guessing thinking about Vega made me forget about everything else. I look at him and he sighs, while running his fingers through his hair.

"Just promise you won't do that again?" He asks while wrapping me into a hug.

"I promise", but the said thing is I'm never good at keeping promises. I can't promise I'll never hurt Beck again because; truth is I know I already have.

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**Thank you and please review :D**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own this show or the characters.**

**Enjoy :)**

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After finally gathering up the energy to get up out of bed, I take a shower and decide to go with something simple. I decided to go with a red t-shirt, skinny jeans and red converse. After fixing up my hair and makeup, I head downstairs and fix myself a bowl of cereal. Once I'm done with breakfast, I wait for Trina to come downstairs to give me a ride to school. Once Trina's done with her "beauty routine", I convince her to give me a ride. I normally would have asked my parents for a ride because Trina's driving is very reckless but, considering that my parents leave for work early, it looks like i'm stuck with her. Don't get me wrong I love Trina, she's my sister but, sometimes she can be a handful. Especially when she driving, which why i'm surprised and relieved when we make it to school in one peace. I sigh in relief only to become more stressed, when I find out that we were 15 minutes late, which means I've already missed 1st period. I wonder how I managed to be 15 minutes late, only to figure out that I must have overslept. I realize that I didn't get much sleep last night because I was so worried about getting the song done and there was also the other thing that's been keeping me up all night. Or you could say the person that's been keeping me up all night. I let out a frustrated sigh at how badly my day has been so far, and as I walk into the school I see that 1st period has already been let out and I see everyone preparing for 2nd period. Making my way over to my locker, I see Jade with Beck of course. They seem to be talking about something, I try to ignore it and focus on getting my stuff from my locker, until I hear their voices getting louder.

"I'm just tired of you forgetting about everything!" I hear Beck say, I turn my attention on Jade and Beck now, I can see that there having yet another argument. As I watch, I can't help but see the look on Jades face. It's a look of sadness and guilt. I don't know why but seeing Jade sad makes me sad. I never get to see Jades smile that often but when I do, I can't help but feel extremely happy about it. So it's like whenever Jades happy, i'm happy, when jades sad, i'm sad, and when Jades hurt, i'm hurt too. So me seeing Jade sad with Beck around makes me think that he's not good for her, and then I start to think that I could be good for her, better even. But then I remind myself that could and would happen, because if I was better for her, I would have her in my arms right now. I'm proven right when I see them leave together hand in hand. I turn my head away from the scene and put my head down in my locker.

This is getting out of control; it was never supposed to become this big. This feeling was just supposed to be some stupid crush but now that I think about it i'm afraid that this feeling is much more than a crush. Why is it that I seem to have Jade stuck in my head all the time? Why is it that whenever she touches me or smile at me, I get a wave of butterflies? Why is it that whenever I see with him all, I can feel is heart breaking? Or why is it that no matter what somebody else does no one compares to you? It all makes sense now that I think about it; it's easy to have a crush on someone as beautiful as Jade, then have it quickly turn into love. Could a small secret crush really turn into being in love with somebody? That's what I needed to know, that's when and why I decided to tell someone about my problem. Knowing exactly who to talk to, I grab my books I needed and shut my locker, then made my way over to their locker. I tap their shoulder to indicate my presence,

"Oh, hey Tor? What's going on girl?" André says with a smile.

"Hey André I need your help with something."

"Oh, is it about the song?" he asks with a concerned expression on his face.

"That too but, there's something else…umm let's say I like someone and I know I'll never be with them. What do I do?" I say nervously, admitting you like someone isn't always easy, especially if that someone was Jade.

"Wait, you like someone?" he asks with a confused look.

"Yes I do and I like this person a lot. But I can't be with them." I say explaining my whole crush situation.

"Okay I see your problem, how can I help?" André ask while crossing his arms with a concerned look on her face.

"I need your input, how do you get over someone you can't have?"

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That may be the hardest question to ask someone. Because despite all the answers you receive, no one really knows how to stop having the feelings you have for someone. People will tell you all sorts of things like, it's not meant to be, you'll find someone new, or you'll get over them. That's exactly what André told me to do. He told me to get over this crush, by finding someone new, he said I need to realize that this person doesn't care and I need to find someone who does. That's why I agreed to go on a date with super hottie Ryder Daniels. Apparently he has had feelings for me for a long time and today he finally got the courage to ask me out. If only I were that brave, I could have told Jade the truth. But of course rejection is my greatest fear, so for me to ask Jade out and have her say no, would leave me to total heartache. So to get over this heartache I agreed to go on a date with Ryder, which is why i'm here at Nozu. It was a coincidence when Ryder asked me out but once he did, I took it as my chance to finally get over Jade. I'll admit that Ryder is very good-looking but, as I stare at him from across the table I can't help but think that he's not as captivating as Jade. His eyes are more of a dark brown, nothing like Jades sparkling emerald eyes and his skin is rough, nothing like Jades smooth soft skin. Like I had said before nothing compares to the way she makes me fe-

"Tori?"

"Uh, what?" I blink repeatedly as I get out of my daydreaming.

"I asked you what you like to do." Ryder asks me while, looking at me with confusion in his eyes.

"Oh, you know, I like to sing and just act, that's why in here at Hollywood Arts." I say while laughing nervously, I try to focus my attention on Ryder.

"What about you?" I ask trying to start a conversation.

"Pretty much the same except for the singing part." he says. Not a good singer eh? I know for a fact that Jade has the most amazing voice- no, stop thinking about Jade, you're here to get over her, not think about her! You're on a date with one of the hottest guys at school and in still think about Jade. Boy do I have it bad, I need to get it together!

"Tori? Are you listening?"

"Oh, what sorry I just zoned out."

"Tori, am I boring you? We can talk about something else of you wa-."

"No, no your fine, I just have a lot on my mind." I say while holding my head with my hands.

"Well you can tell me what's on your mind?" Ryder asks me with worry in his voice. It's not something on my mind, more like _**someone**_. That someone being Jade but, of course I can't say that out loud. So instead, I sigh while closing my eyes and resting my head on my hand.

"Do you not want to be here?" Ryder ask, giving me a disappointed look. I didn't want to be a jerk and say yes but, I can't lie when I think I'd rather be with Jade than be here.

"No, it's not you, it's me I just-."

"Like somebody else?" Ryder asks me and I think to myself is it really that obvious that I like Jade?

"How did you know?" I say while giving him a confused glare.

"You used the it's not you it's me phrase." He says with a small smile,I laugh at his small joke and return the smile.

"Yeah, well can I be completely honest with you? I know this may seem harsh but, I only said yes to get over someone I have a crush on." I say not only being honest with Ryder but to myself as well.

"Funny you say that because that's exactly what I did." As he says this I can't help but feel confused and relieved at the same time.

"Wait so you don't have feelings for me?" I say suddenly feeling very interested in our conversation.

"Ummm….no, I actually like somebody else and I'd figure that if I go out with another person I'd get over them." As I listen to what Ryder says I think to myself that, that's exactly what I had thought to do.

"Well it looks me and you have a lot in common don't you think?" I ask giving him a small smile.

"But why did you ask me?" I say wondering why Ryder would pick me out of all girls to go on a date with.

"Well I just didn't want to pick a random girl, so I chose someone I thought would be my type. So I chose you and plus I thought you were kind of cute." He says with a smile. I laugh and gave him an actual genuine smile back.

"Well i'm flattered that you chose me of all people and i'm sorry that this date didn't go as planned." I say while giving him an apologetic face.

"No don't be I knew this wouldn't work. No matter how hard you try to move on, you just cant. It doesn't seem to work." He says while sighing and looking brokenhearted.

"I know what you mean, the person I like is just amazing, they just mange to make my day even better just by looking at me." I say thinking about how just by Jade looking at me, makes my blood rush.

"But the sad part about it is that there already taken and there's no way they'd ever feel the same" I say thinking about how Jade has Beck to be in love with.

"Hey don't give up; you don't know that, there could be a chance that they could feel the same way." I smile at how caring Ryder is.

"Thanks but i'm pretty sure if they felt the same they would have become single by now" I say thinking that if Jade did feel the same she would have broken up with Beck and be with me.

"What about you?" I asks wondering who Ryder is trying to get over.

"Oh, me pretty much the same it's just that the person I like just wants to be friends. It just really sucks because, it's like I really want to be more than friends but, I know she'll never feel the same"

"Whoa you got it worse than I do." I say with a small laugh, it's got to suck to fall for your best friend and not have the feelings returned.

"Yeah well it looks like we both got it bad" he says while returning the laugh.

"Yeah I guess so, it was nice talking to you Ryder, and I really enjoyed talking to someone who knows what i'm going through" I say smiling at how this date has been.

"Yeah same here and I hope your problem works out okay."

"Yeah you too and remember what I said any girl would be lucky to have you" I say giving him a smile.

"And just remember what I said the possibilities are endless." He says and I consider Ryder's words. The possibilities are endless, but could there really be a possibility that Jade could ever feel the same about me?

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**Thank you and please review :D**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own this show or the characters**

**Enjoy :)**

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It was 7:00 when I called Beck, after feeling guilty about what happened last time; I asked him if he wanted to hang out tonight. With him agreeing of course, we made plans to go to Nozu. I just felt so guilty and ashamed with all the thoughts that were in my head. I know it's not like Beck can read my mind but, if he found out that I think about Vega more than him, he wouldn't like me that much. So not only making it up to him, I also agreed to myself that I would focus all my thoughts and attention on Beck. After all I had a boyfriend to attend to; I couldn't keep having thoughts about Vega in my head, there were more important things to do.

With that being said, I take a shower and got ready for my date with Beck. I decided to go with the causal black skinny jeans and a black matching t-shirt. Shortly after I got ready Beck pulled up in my driveway to pick me up and we made our way to Nozu. During the car ride there, we share a comfortable silence, with only the radio playing. As Becks driving I look out the window and admire the darkness of the night, then I start to drift off in my own thoughts, only to be interrupted by Becks voice.

"Were here" he says, while parking the car and glancing over at me. "You ready?"

"Yes of course, let's go before I change my mind." I say in a frustrated tone. To be honest i'm only doing this for him, after forgetting about our movie date, I felt like I owed him. If not for that I would probably not have been here.

"Look Jade we don't have to be here if you don't-"

"I said let's go" I said while getting out of the car and heading to the restaurant. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Beck roll his eyes and sigh, while following me into the restaurant.

Once we get into Nozu, we find a table in a corner in the back of the restaurant, away from everyone else. Once the waiter finishes with ordering our food, Beck starts to form a conversation.

"So are you going to sign up for the show?" he asks while, playing with his chopsticks.

"Yeah, right as if I would sign up for that." I say coldly, I forgot that was even going on.

"Why not, you could win."

"I don't care about winning." I say with honesty. Winning would be the last thing on my mind if I did sign up for that thing. Winning doesn't matter much to me, if you love doing something, it shouldn't matter if you win or lose, you should just enjoy what you do for the fun of it.

"Then what's the point of having all that talent if you're not going to use it?" Beck says. I take logic in his words but, I already established how one day I will be able to show my talent to everyone through my writing.

"I know I have plenty talent how I use it doesn't regard you." I say looking straight at Beck and giving him my usual smirk. He raises his eyebrows but, smiles back then shakes his head at me.

"Well are you at least going to go?"

"I don't know if I-" I stop speaking mid-sentence, when my eyes land in a certain someone.

My eyes widen in shock as I see Vega, with what looks like, is that Ryder Daniels? Holy shit that is Ryder! But why is Vega with him? Are they on a date? Does she like him?

"Jade, are you okay, what's wrong?" Beck asks turning his head to where my eyes were, with a confused look.

"Yeah, i'm fine, nothing's wrong. Just thought I saw something." I say moving my eyes away from what i'm seeing.

"Okay well as I was saying…." Beck says, turning back to look at me. He continues talking but, I don't really listen, instead my eyes keep glancing back to the table across the room. I look at the table, I see Ryder and Vega together, I think to myself, when and how did that happen? Wait, why should I care? Vega can go out with whomever she wants whenever she wants, it shouldn't concern or bother me. But it does bother me, it bothers me a lot. I don't know why but I start to get angry at seeming them together. In fact the more I look at them, the more pissed of I start to get. There's a word for what i'm feeling and this feeling is called jealously. Wait a minute, am I jealous? No, no way why would I feel the need to be jealous? More important question was, who was I jealous of? I definitely wasn't jealous of Tori, there's no way I'd ever want to date that Ryder guy. But that must mean that i'm jealous of him? Wait, what no, no, it can't be! Get it together Jade, you are not Jealous of that Ryder guy.

"Babe, you okay? You look like you saw a duck." Beck says looking at me, with concern.

"I'm fine couldn't be better actually." I say through gritted teeth, while clutching my chopsticks. I clutch them tightly, almost breaking them in half, I hold on to them tightly so i'm not tempted to throw them at that sleaze ball Ryder. To keep myself from having a rampage attack, I try to pay attention to Beck. I fail miserably when I hear Vega laugh at Ryder, it sets my nerves in edge, to see hear smile at him. I know it's not right and I know I said I wasn't but, I know for sure that i'm 100% jealous of Ryder right now. I'm jealous of the fact that he can touch her and I can't. Jealous of how he can make her smile and laugh but, I can't. Jealous of he can be with her without it being complicated but, I can't. But most of all i'm jealous of how he can give her things that I wouldn't be able to. I can't help but feel this way, then I remember its Vega were talking about here. I hate her for making me feel this way, this is someone i'm supposed to hate, not someone i'm supposed to be having feelings for. But as I continue staring at them together, it just doesn't feel right. Almost like he's not the one that's supposed to be there with her, it feels wrong and out of place seeing them together like this. It shouldn't be like this, she shouldn't be with him and I shouldn't be with-

"Jade you're doing it again" Beck says looking at me with annoyance.

"Doing what?" I asked with confusion.

"Zoning out, I really wish you'd stop doing that. Can you at least tell me what's bothering you?"

"Nothings brothering me okay. I'm fine." I say even though I know it's a lie. I'm anything bit fine, i'm a total mess. I've dealt with jealously with Beck but this is different. I got upset with other girls flirting with Beck, because what's mine is mine. But this is a different type of jealously, what makes this different is that, i'm upset that I'll never be able to do those things his able to do with her. It's almost heartbreaking to see the one your falling for, slowly slip away from your fingers. I had no idea I'd ever feel this way and I had no idea that Vega would be the one to do it. It's almost unbelievable how the girl i'm supposed to hate is slowly making me fall in love with her.

"Jade did you even here anything I said?" Beck asks with even more annoyance in his voice.

"Take me home."

"What?" ask now even more confused.

"I said take me home."

"Okay….any reason why?"

"I'm not feeling well." Is all I say. I couldn't take any more of this. Sitting here looking over at Vega and Ryder together, made me want to die inside of a whole and cry a million tears. I couldn't take this anymore, I couldn't just sit here and watch him be with her, it just hurt too much. It sucked to see the one you're in love fall, with fall in love with someone else. That's why I had to leave before I started to drown in my own tears. So I got up quickly and stormed out of the room, leaving Beck alone at the table with a confused look on his face.

"What the- Jade!" Beck says storming after me.

"What's going on?"

"Just take me home, okay, I just don't want to be here." I say, closing my eyes to keep the tears from coming down. I didn't say another word as I open the door to Becks car and waited for him to get in. Eventually he did and on the drive home, I didn't say anything but, looked out the window. I know Beck wanted to ask me questions because, he kept looking at me with worry in his eyes. But I couldn't tell him why I wanted leave because, I felt jealous and heartbroken. I couldn't tell anyone , not even myself that I like Vega more than I should because, if I did life would become even more complicated for me. That's why when Beck stopped at my house, I avoided all questions and got of the car, only to have Beck follow me.

"Babe, tell me what's going on?" Beck says following me to my front door.

"Nothing's wrong, everything's fine okay." Everything else must be fine, but I most certainly am not.

"Really? Because you don't seem fine."

"I said I wasn't feeling well, okay."

"Well if you need any help babe you can trust me-"

"It's nothing I can't handle okay? I'm fine, goodnight Beck." I say while slamming the door in his face. I know it's wrong to do that but I don't care, all I care about is how to deal with this feeling . Because I have no idea to handle this kind of pain. I've dealt with lots of pain, mostly the good kind, but never have I experienced this bad level of pain before. I think for the first time in my life, I know what a broken heart feels like. It feel like this.

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	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

It's amazing how something you plan out, can change and become something unexpected. Like my date with Ryder, it was nothing like I thought it would be. I went on the date to get over Jade but, really all it did was make me fall for her even more. I guess going out with Ryder didn't help at all. Don't get me wrong Ryder is such a sweet, caring guy but, he's not Jade. All the feelings I have for Jade I just don't have for him or for anyone else. He doesn't make my heart beat like Jade does; he doesn't make me have butterflies like Jade does.

But what Ryder does do, is make me realize that you can't just get over someone by dating other people. You can try but, it just won't work. It takes time, a lot of it at that, just to get over someone. He also made me realize that no matter who I go on a date with, there's no one who's able to capture my heart like Jade has. So the good part of the "date" was that not only did I make a good friend but, now I know what my song is going to be about.

* * *

As I put away my books, and get ready for 2nd period, I can't help but feel excited. I'm excited because it's almost Friday and also I finally finished writing down the lyrics to my song. After my "date" with Ryder, I got inspired to write, so I wrote down the lyrics and now all I need is Andre for the music. I smile as I think of how much I accomplished this week.

"Hey Tor, what's got you so excited?" Andre asks walking over to my locker.

"Oh, you know just happy about the talent show." I say with a smile.

"Oh is that it? Or could it be because of your date last night?" Andre says smirking, while raising an eyebrow.

"Well…..it has something to do with it." I say.

"Well, how was it, give me the details Tor?"

"Oh, nothing happened It's just the date got me inspired to write my song. Which reminds me I need you to come over today for the music."

"Sure thing, I'll be there, catch ya later Tor." Andre says smiling at me, then walking away. I smile, while shutting my locker; I turn around and see Jade talking to Beck yet again. I frown as I see them together, feeling depressed again, as I see that Beck has Jade. Cleary he has something I can never have but, as they say you always want, what you can't have. That couldn't be more true because Jades what I want, but I can't have her.

* * *

"Just tell me who it is?"

"Nope sorry Cat, not going to happen." I say while popping a French fire in my mouth. It was lunch time, which meant I could see Jade but, she wasn't here yet, so that left me here with Cat.

"Do they go here?" Cat asks with excitement.

"Yes, they go to our school." I say rolling my eyes, Cats been asking me who I like ever since we sat down. Thanks to Andre telling Cat I wrote a song about someone, Cats been trying to figure out who that **_someone_** is.

"Do I know them?"

"Yes this is someone we all know." I say smiling at Cats excitement. Now there's now way I would ever tell her that Jade is the person I like but, it is amusing to see Cat excited.

"Well do they-"

"Hey what's up Tor? Lil Red?" Andre says while sitting down next to me, followed by Robbie, but still no sign of Jade or Beck.

"Have you seen Jade?" I asked concerned.

"No, but i'm sure she's with Beck somewhere." Robbie says. I sigh as I wait for Jade to arrive at the table, I don't know why but something about having her here always makes feel a lot happier. I guess that's one of the side effects of being in love with somebody.

"Did you tell Cat about the date?" I whisper to Andre.

"No, I just told her you wrote a song about someone." Andre whispers back to me, while taking a bite out of his sandwich.

"Hey what's up guys?" Beck says while sitting next to Andre. I watch Jade as she sits right across from me. I smile as a wave of butterflies flutter inside my stomach once I see her.

"Why are you so happy?" Jade asks bitterly, like it pains her to see me happy.

"Well I just-"

"Tori likes someone!" Cat blurts out in front of the whole table.

"Cat!?" I say shocked at her outburst, while I nudge her shoulder. I look over at Andre, who gives me an apologetic look.

"Well are you going to tell us, who it is?" Robbie asks, curious to know who the Vega girl is crushing on.

"Ummm…..it's no one, it doesn't really matter-

"Yeah it does, who is it tell us Tor?" Cat asks. "It does matter, whoever this guy is, he's clearly making you happy so we must know who it is."

"Guys I don't-"

"I'm leaving. You people bore me." Jade says, while getting up.

"Jade why are you leaving?" Beck asks

"I'm not really interested in who Vega likes because, I really don't care." Jade says angrily and gets up and walks away.

"It's okay I'll go talk to her." Beck says sighing, while getting up and going after her.

"wow, what's her problem?" Rex says and everyone shrugs their shoulders. Everyone goes back to their regular conversation. Cats says something about her crazy brother but, i'm not really listening all I can think about is how angry Jade looked. Does hate me that much? I knew she didn't like me but, if she actually **_hated_** me, my world would literally fall to pieces. Because for me to know that the girl I love hates my guts, is just too much heartbreak for me to deal with.

* * *

Right now i'm feeling very depressed, after lunch all I could think about was Jade. I haven't seen her all day after that and before I could talk to her; school had already been let out. And now that i'm here in my room she is all I can think about. What is she doing? What is she thinking about? Is she thinking about me? Probably not why would she think about me, i'm the person she hates the most. I would have called to see what her problem was but, decided against it, seeing as that Jade wouldn't care what I would have to say. Because as I said before Jade hates my guts.

Given the circumstances, sometimes I wish that things were different. Sometimes I wish that I couldn't have come to this school, so that way I couldn't have started to have all the feelings for Jade. Because having to deal with liking someone you can't have just sucks. Sometimes I wonder what life would have been like if I hadn't liked Jade. Would I have fallen for Beck or Andre? Who knows I could have fallen for anybody but, it just had to be Jade of all people.

Given all the stuff we've been through you would think that because, she treats me like crap that I would hate her but, I don't. I don't hate her at all, in fact the more she would tease me, the more I began to fall harder for her. Because I know that beneath all the mean layers that Jade has, inside it all is just something amazing. That's why I love Jade, once you see that side of her; all you'll want to do is have more of it.

I guess that's when I started to fall for her, when she came to help me with the cafeteria after the whole situation with the stage fighting. When she showed me she cared and I saw that side of her, we shared a moment and it was lost in time. And after that everything went downhill for me, I only saw that side of her once, and I keep searching for that moment to happen again but, I never found it. No

She makes me feel things I didn't even know I was cable of feeling. She makes my stomach flutter over a thousand butterflies, when I see her. And when she smiles I swear it's the most beautiful sight I've ever seen before. I didn't even know that this feeling even existed but now I know what love feels like and it's all thanks to **_her_**.w thanks to that one night, Jade has haunted me in every dream and every thought. And I can't lie when I say that i'm really falling hard for this girl.

"Tori your friend is here!" Trina yells, from inside the house. I was so busy in my thoughts about Jade that I had forgotten that Andre was coming over. I quickly off my bed and put on some decent clothes, and then I grab my notebook filled with the lyrics on it. After putting on some pants and a red jacket, I made my way downstairs to see Andre with keyboard.

"What's up to, ready to make some music?" Andre asks, while smiling at me. I take a seat next to him on the couch and return the smile.

"Ready as I'll ever be." I say jokingly.

"You got the lyrics?"

"Yeah but ummm, there a bit off. I don't know if there any good-"

"Hey Tor don't worry about if it's not good enough. Its you're song it came from the heart and that's all that matters." He says encouraging me.

"Thanks I know but, I didn't want it to suck because I worked really worked hard on it."

"If you worked hard on it, then it should turn out to be fantastic." He says, I sigh as I hand him my notebook with the lyrics on it. After thinking long and hard about my feelings with Jade this is what I came up with:

**_Do you ever think When you're all alone?_**

**_All that we could be? Where this thing could go?_**

**_Am I crazy or falling in love? Is it real or just another crush?_**

**_Do you catch a breath When I look at you?_**

**_Are you holding back Like the way I do?_**

**_'Cause I'm trying, trying to walk away_**

**_But I know this crush Ain't going Away_**

**_Away ya ya ya yaaa (this crush ain't)_**

**_ Going away ya ya ya yaaa (goin' away)_**

**_Going away_**

"Wow, tor this is really good." he says while reading the rest of the lyrics and smiling. "Since when did you become the song writer expert?" he says jokingly, while laughing a little.

"Well…actually I got inspired by my date with Ryder." I say and it's true. Going on that date made me realize that getting over Jade was not possible. I realize that I still love her no matter how many times I try to deny it. I would think that I was over her but every time I see her it's like the feelings happen all over again. So I had to stop lying to myself when I said I was over her because I know this crush with Jade just isn't going away. So this date allowed me to kill two birds with one stone. I finally realized my true feelings for Jade and I wrote my own song for the first time.

"This is really good Tor. I didn't know you had a strong crush on Ryder, i'm sure he'll love this." Andre says smiling at me.

"Yeah about that… the song it's not… it's not for him." I say nervously.

"What?" Andre asks confused.

"I didn't write the song for him." I say feeling nervous at telling Andre the truth.

"Well if it's not for him, who is it for?"

I sigh before answering, "It's for Jade."

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**Thank you and please review :D**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I don't own this show or the characters**

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

As I lay in bed all alone, I think of how messed up my life is. My parents are divorced, my mom left and my dad hates me. I've been living a lie for 2 years with my boyfriend and the one person that makes me happy, is the one thing I can't have. Yep, my life is pretty messed up, will it get better? Maybe who knows, all I know is that right now I've never felt so broken. After seeing Vega with Ryder, it felt as if someone took my heart out of my chest. When they said that being heartbroken hurt, but they never said how much hurt you would feel. Now I know what real pain feels like. I finally admitted to myself that I love Vega but, before I could tell her, she already found love with someone else. I had my chance but, looks like I waited too long. It's already too late.

* * *

I don't know how I managed to get up this morning but, I did and here I am. Upon feeling like dying I had the strength to wake up and drive to school. But before I entered I told myself that I wouldn't let my feelings with Vega bother me. I said I should just let it go and took it as a sign to say that I and Vega weren't meant to be because ,if it was meant to be there's no way Vega would be with him. I told myself over and over again that whatever feelings I had didn't mean anything. I would deny everything I had ever felt for this girl. I would try and tell myself anything that would help me get over this crush. I lied to myself even though I knew the real truth.

As I finished my pep talk to myself, I entered inside the school and made my way to my scissor covered locker. I do my daily morning routine, where I get books and put them away, upon doing so, I see Vega enter and go directly to her locker. I try to look away and ignore the butterflies in my stomach but, as I see that she has that beautiful big smile plastered on her face and I can't help but stare. I've always loved her smile, it was a sign that she was happy. I know this sounds cheesy and cliché but, when she's happy I can't help but feel happiness as well. She's very happy today but, why? I sure hope it has nothing to do with her date with Ryder. Anger and jealously build up inside me as that thought occurs in my head. I love to see Vega happy and even though I'd never admit that to her or anyone else but, it's true. You might think that I hate seeing her all cheery by the way I always try to bring her down but, I really do care about her a lot. And if she's really happy with Ryder, then I guess I have to accept that she with someone else. As they say if you really loved someone, you would want them to be happy no who there with , but that's something that's not always easy to do.

Even though that may be true it also really sucks. Seriously feeling this way sucks. I sigh as I put my final book away I turn my head away from to Vega only to have to turn it back when I see Beck, standing next to me. I sigh as I already know what's coming. He's going to ask me about why I stormed out of our date last night and I'll say it was nothing. Then well go back to pretending like this never happened, because that's what we always do . We pretend, this whole relationship consists of us playing pretend.

"Hi" he says looking at me like he knows that I where this conversation is leading to .

"If you're going to ask me about last night, I really don't want to talk about it." I sigh, shutting my locker.

"Jade if you just told me why you stormed off-"

"I told you already I wasn't feeling well, how many times do you want me to say it?" I asked getting annoyed.

"It's just I don't believe you , I feel like there's another reason. I just feel like you're not telling me the truth."

"I told you the truth and if you choose not to believe it, then that's your problem." I say looking Beck in the eye, then walking away to my next class, trying to forget about what just happened.

* * *

Apparently trying to forget about it doesn't work. All day the one thing I was trying to forget, just keep popping back up in my head. I just couldn't keep forgetting about that damn smile that was all over Vegas face. Don't get me wrong that smile is the main reason, why my heart is beating. Even though she sends me joy by just her smile, but at the same time I feel very hurt inside, I've never met a person that could make me feel happy and depressed at the same time. Knowing that Ryder was the one who caused that smile to appear on her face, just makes me feel not only jealous but also regret. I feel regret now that I know I could have been the one to make her happy, but I had waited too long.

I was too scared to admit my feelings and I waited until I could find the courage to say something. But before I knew it, it was already too late. Now the only things I feel for myself is regret. I regret that I ever treated her badly, it was my tormenting that drove her away. And I regret that I had my chance to say what I felt but, I chose not to do anything.

As I sit in my screenwriting class I think of what lesson I learned about all this, that lesson being if you want something so badly, you should do everything you can to get it, before it's too late. Once that lesson is in my head, never to be forgotten , the bell rings ending 4th period and the beginning of lunch. I slowly grab my things, not really in a rush to sit at a table with my so called friends but, mostly in not in a rush to see Vega and that smile of hers. So to avoid rushing I was the last one to leave out of the classroom and headed towards my locker. Once I get there I don't see Vega , thankfully she was probably at lunch already.

I debate on whether I should just ditch lunch to avoid my feelings from happening or if I should just suck it up and go ahead and go to lunch. Once I see that the hallway was clear, I make my final decision to just ditch lunch , with that thought in my head, I shut my locker and walk in the opposite direction of the café, only to be stopped by someone calling my name.

"Jade, there you are." I turn my head to become face to face with Beck. "I was looking for you, are you not going to lunch?"

"I don't really feel like it, i'm just not hungry." I say it's not a total lie i'm really not feeling well.

"Are you sure, or are you just trying to avoid me?" Oh if only it were Beck that I was trying to forget about, then maybe this wouldn't be so hard. "Look i'm sorry about what happened this morning."

"I'm not trying to avoid you. I just don't want to talk about what happen."

"Consider it forgotten. Can you just please come to lunch with me?"

"Fine lets go." I sigh while rolling my eyes. I really dint feel like eating when I felt sick at the thought of Ryder and Vega together. But like I always do I put on my fake "smile" and act like nothings bothering me, when in reality this whole situation brothers me. But as usual I act like nothing's wrong and that these feelings mean nothing. This is what actors do, they act, that's why people tell me i'm a good actor. People probably don't realize it but, we act every day. Basically we do it when we pretend to be happy but, really were all dying inside. So therefore we are all actors.

"Hey guys, what's up?" Beck says sitting down next Andre. I take a seat right across Vega and as I do I feel her eyes on me and I also see that same damn smile.

"Why are you so happy?" I ask, not really looking forward to the answer. I just had to find out if it was true. I needed to know the reason behind her happiness.

"Well I just-"

"Tori likes someone!" I hear Cat blurt out and as she says those words I feel as though my heart is splitting in two.

"Cat!" Vega says, apparently she didn't want anyone else to know but, too late as I already know who this someone is.

"Well are you going to tell us, who it is?" Robbie asks, no need to tell me, I already know the awful truth and it makes me sick.

"Umm…..it's no, it doesn't matter-"

"Yeah it does, whoever this guy he must make you really happy." Cat says and as she does, I feel my world crumbling down. I had a guess that he was the reason she was happy but, to actually hear that Ryder makes Vega happy, to actually **_know _**that I've already missed my chance at ever being happy again just makes me want to die. I couldn't take it, anymore I had to leave.

"Guys its no one really-"

"I'm leaving you people bore me." I say using my bitchiness to hide my real emotions which is sadness

"Jade, why are you leaving?" Beck asks, looking confused.

"I'm not really interested in who Vega likes because, I really don't care." I say angrily, then walking away quickly, tears streaming down my face. I avoid all the questioning looks I get as I make my way back inside the school. I head inside my not so secret hiding place, which is the janitors closet. I spend a lot of time in here that it's almost like a second home for me. Everyone knows that this place is my territory. Whenever I felt the need to write, clear my head or even get away from all the anger I would come her. I know it seems crazy but this closet is like my safe haven.

It serves its purpose , I start to slide down the wall and cry my eyes out. My world has just crumbled down, I mean how can you live knowing that the person you love, doesn't even care about you. You can't live with it, that's why I feel like i'm dying. I realized now that I was an idot, to actually think that Vega loved me. I don't even love myself so how could have expected her to. I realized that I was stupid to have fallen in love with someone I knew I couldn't have. I guess I was a fool for her. It was like I was playing a game with myself, that I knew I was going to lose. Well its game over and know all that's left is a broken heart. I snap out of my thoughts as I hear a knock on the door. I sighed as I looked up to see who it was.

"Jade?" I look up to see the silhouette figure of Beck. He flipped the light switch on to show of my crying position, he sighs when he sees the tears fall down my face. "Jade what's going on?"

"Nothing's going on, i'm fine." I say with my voice cracking.

"Stop lying to me. A fine person wouldn't have just walked away like you just did." He says, not only mentioning what happened at lunch but, also what happened at our date. I sigh knowing that the truth will have to come out eventually. But given the circumstances I would never have picked this time to do it.

"Just tell me what's bothering you?" Beck asks worry in his voice.

"I can't do this anymore." I say in a silent whisper.

"What?" Beck asks confused.

"I can't do this anymore." I say my voice cracking.

"What? What do you mean you can't do **_this_** anymore?" Beck asks moving closer to me now, even more worry in his face.

"This! Us! I can't do it anymore. I can't keep lying to myself." I say angrily, letting the truth come out. They say you should always listen to someone when there angry because that's when the actual true feelings come out.

"What do you mean you can't do **_us_** anymore?"

"What do you think it means Beck?"

"Do you- do you want to break up? Is that what you're saying?" Beck asks angrily with worry in his voice.

"I don't know, all I know is that I can't do this," I say avoiding his eyes, I just couldn't see the hurt in his eyes.

"It's because of Tori isn't it?" Beck asks with sadness in his voice. My head shot up to look at him and sure enough all I see is sadness . I couldn't say anything after he said that, I was shocked and also frightened at how he found out.

"Yeah it isn't it? That's why you've been acting this way, avoiding me. That's why you got so mad when she said she liked someone else. It's because you love her." Beck says, with sorrow in his face and tears almost in his eyes. " I just thought it was me being stupid but, I see the way you look at her. It's the same way I look at you. I dint want to believe it but, it's obvious it's true." Beck says almost laughing, while running his fingers through his hair. After Beck said this I felt like not only cheated on him but I also betrayed him too.

"Beck i'm sor- i'm sorry, I love you. I do but, I'm just not in love with you. I feel more for her than I do for you." I say more tears coming down my face.

"When were you going to tell me this Jade? You know what this means, it means our whole relationship has been a lie!" Beck says angrily, with a single tear down his face.

"No, it's not like that. Our relationship hasn't been a whole lie! Just please believe me" I say practically begging Beck to give me a chance to explain myself.

"I don't jade, I just don't know anymore. I just need time to think about this." Beck says grabbing the door handle.

"Wait, where does this leave us?" I say with hope in my voice.

"As friends I don't know but as a couple…well it looks like were over." He says, looking at me one last time and walking away. This was exactly what I was trying to avoid, with this one stupid crush I have managed to not only have broken my heart but, Becks heart as well. All because of **_her_**. What's the point of going through all this when she doesn't even love me back?

* * *

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	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

"Hey did you hear about Beck and Jade?" Andre asks. It was the beginning of 3rd period and I was getting my books from my locker, for my next class. Next to me stood Andre, talking to me, while also looking down at his pearphone.

"No, what happened?" I ask curious as to what had happened after Beck went after Jade. I wanted so badly to confront her and find out why she stormed off like that.

"Well apparently…it says on The Slap that they broke up." Andre says, looking at his phone, then at me.

"What?!" I say grabbing Andre's phone and sure enough there it was one Becks profile. It says that Beck is no longer in a relationship.

"Why, what happened?" I say shock written all over my face.

"I don't know what happened but, I do know that this is serious. I haven't seen Beck or Jade in days." Andre says, looking concerned. As Andre says that all I could think is what could have happened between them? I knew Beck and Jade relationship was uneasy, with the constant fighting, the on and off breakups, they had plenty of ups and downs. But just like every couple they would hopefully make up and settle their differences.

Someone once told me that even though Beck and Jade do fight a lot, they did love each other. After all Beck was the only that really could get inside Jade heart and break her walls. He was the lucky person that could see that side of Jade, the good side. So why would after having two long years together why would they just break up?

"So, it's for real this time?" I ask to make sure that this wasn't a break up or then make up thing. If it were Jade would have come to me by now, asking me to help her get Beck back.

"Seems that way, it looks like there done for good. Do you know what this means now?" Andre asks. Let's see Beck is no longer on a relationship, therefore Beck is single. That also means Jades single, which also means….

"This is your chance." Andre says, smiling at me.

"You think so?"

"Yes do it, before it too late." Andre says smiling, while patting me on the back, then walking away. It had been so nerve-wracking to have finally told Andre the truth. After a long argument, we reached an understanding towards each other.

**_ Flashback:_**

**_"I didn't write the song for him." I say feeling nervous at telling him the truth. But it's now or never._**

**_"Well if it's not for him, who is it for?" Andre asks._**

**_"It's for Jade." I say nervously, my eyes search for anything instead of Andre. But after a long pause, I look at Andre and see he looks confused._**

**_"Andre, say something please?" I say worry all over my face._**

**_"Our Jade, Jade West. That Jade?" Andre asks, with his brows forward._**

**_"Yes that Jade, I wrote this song for Jade." I say worry in my voice at how quiet Andre is._**

**_"Are you serious? Is this some kind of a joke, if it is you got me good Tori." Andre says turning his head as if he was looking for camera. _**

**_"Your funny, this was a good one." Andre says laughing._**

**_"No I'm not joking, i'm for real." I say a little hurt at how Andre thinks i'm joking, when really i'm trying to explain how I feel._**

**_"You can't be serious you wrote a love song about Jade? I don't believe it." Andre says, laughing even harder._**

**_"It's not funny, why are you laughing?" I say angrily, with hurt in my eyes. Andre stops laughing once he realizes i'm not joking._**

**_"I'm being serious here, I really like a lot" I say sighing, I overcome with a lot emotions as I pour out my feelings about Jade._**

**_"You like Jade?" Andre asks with a question look on his face. _**

**_"Yes I like her a lot, that's why I wrote this song." I say looking at Andre. I stare at him to see any sign of emotion but, I can't see any because he has blank face. I raise an eyebrow at and when I don't get a response, I think I have made a terrible mistake._**

**_"Why, why are you doing this Tori?" Andre asks and I get confused at his question._**

**_"Why am I doing what?" I ask._**

**_"This is wrong Tor, you shouldn't be doing this. It's not right." Andre says with a serious look on his face._**

**_"What's wrong? What shouldn't I be doing?" I ask confused as to what i'm doing wrong here._**

**_"This, you shouldn't be having feelings for another girl. Especially Jade. It's not right." Andre says looking disappointed, while shaking his head. Then boom, after he said those words, it's like a bomb went off inside me. I instantly get upset with Andre._**

**_"Are you kidding me right now? It's not right for me to feel this way?" I ask getting angry._**

**_"Yeah for two reason, first it's wrong for you to like another girl, plus not to mention, she's Becks girlfriend. You can't just break them up!" he says raising his voice._**

**_"Okay I know for a fact that she's with Beck, there's nothing I can do about that. But I do know for sure, that there is nothing wrong with the way i'm feeling." I say anger in my voice, with tears almost in my eyes._**

**_"Yes it is, you shouldn't feel this way, it's not right." Once Andre says this I scoff and roll my eyes at his stupidity._**

**_"Wow, I just can't believe the words you just said, do you hear yourself right now? I never thought you of all people, would be so prejudice" I say tears falling from my eyes. _**

**_"You're supposed to be my friend and comfort me not make me feel ashamed of myself. I thought you would understand but yet you think it's wrong for me to feel this way? You think it's wrong for me to be in love?" I say, I just couldn't believe that Andre, my best friend, would say these things to me. For all the days I've known Andre I had never thought he would make me feel this way._**

**_"No I don't think, wait… did you just say love? Did you say you were in love w-with Jade?" Andre asks, looking even more confused than before._**

**_"I-I don't know, that's what I needed to figure out. That's why I told you, I thought you could help me figure this out." I say looking down at the ground, trying to avoid his eyes. I just felt so ashamed and guilty at myself. _**

**_"Tori, i'm I- i'm so sorry. I had no idea that you felt that way. I dint you loved the girl."_**

**_"I didn't either but, I guess after a while the feelings started to grow and get stronger." I say wiping my wet eyes with my hands._**

**_"Tori i'm so sorry, I was being stupid, I-I didn't mean to make you cry. I guess I just didn't understand how much you cared about Jade." Andre says looking apologetic._**

**_"Don't you know that I can't choose who I fall in love with? I didn't ask for this to happen and there's nothing I can do about it. I've come to accept the fact that I can't control who I have feelings for. You just got to accept it and move on." I say, crying my eyes out, because, I just realized that I really, truly am in love with Jade and I have these tears to prove it._**

**_It's sad if you think about it, I didn't ask for this heartbreak. I dint want to fall in love with someone I couldn't have, it just hurt too much. And now that I know that I love Jade, makes it that much worse because, I know I'll never be with her._**

**_"Tori you have to know how sorry I am, really i'm such an idot. I shouldn't have said those things, I wish I could take them back." Andre says with sorrow in his voice, while giving me a hug._**

**_"It's okay; you learned a valuable lesson today. As did I." _**

**_"What did you learn?" _**

**_"I learned that you should never fall in love with someone you know you can't have." I say thinking about Jade and what a mess I've made of my heart._**

**_"Well that's not an easy thing to do sometimes." Andre says with a comforting voice._**

**_"I know." I say sighing; knowing that getting over Jade was going to be impossible, I just have to live with the fact she just doesn't feel the same._**

**_"What am I going to do?" I ask, hoping to God that Andre had all the answers to my problems._**

**_He sighs before answering, "Well if you really love Jade, like you say you do, you could stop hiding your feelings and tell her how you feel. Or you could keep this to yourself and move one, wondering what could have happened." Andre says and I listen to what he has to say. I knew I couldn't tell Jade, that was out of the question but, could I live with the pain and watch Jade be with Beck? I honestly don't know what to do anymore._**

**_"Just remember the choice is yours."_**

After our talk, I learned a lot of things about Andre and myself. I never thought he would have reacted that way when I told him. Once I told him about my secret crush, it toke some time, but he finally understood why I had feelings for Jade. He accepted me for who I was and it feels nice to have a friend that knows the real truth about me and still loves me.

He is the only person that knows and I plan to keep it that way. If word got out that I was on love with Jade, my life would be over. That's why I only told Andre, I felt that I could trust him. After I told him, he said that I should tell Jade, but at that time, she was dating Beck, I couldn't do it. But now that I know Jade is officially single, this could be my chance. But unfortunately as I said before i'm too chicken to say anything. I don't have enough courage to tell her I love her.

Even if I was brave enough, there's no way Jade would ever feel the same about me. She would probably laugh at me and tell everyone, then I could never show my face again at Hollywood Arts.

So to avoid being humiliated, I just decided to wait. Even though I've been waiting this whole time, I just think it's best if I stay away from all this.

* * *

**_"The choice is yours"_** All day those words have been replaying in my mind. Andre's words were truthful, he gave me options but, I had no idea which one to take. I'm so lost right now, I honestly don't know what to do.

I sigh as I sit at the Asphalt café with the usual gang, expect for Jade and Beck. Ever since the breakup I haven't seen Jade around. I know I shouldn't worry about Jade, but it's already been shown that I care about her way more than I should. As I worry about Jade, I think about my choices.

Telling Jade that I love her would mean I would have to get ready for a bunch of questions from everyone. I would have to tell my parents and friends about us. I would have to look out for the negative people but, most importantly I would have to be ready for rejection.

There could be a chance that Jade felt the same way, but that chance is very slim, so I have to be ready for rejection. The hardest part about falling in love with someone is being afraid that you're not good enough. I have to ask myself i'm a good enough for Jade? Sometimes I don't think i'm good enough for her, that's why i'm afraid to tell her. I'm afraid that even if I try to change myself for her I still won't be what she wants.

That's one of the main reasons why I feel like I shouldn't tell her. The humiliation, the heartbreak, it was all too much to risk. With all the bad scenarios it's probably the best choice If I shouldn't tell her.

But what if I grow up in life and look back and think, what if? What would have happened if I told Jade? One day I'll think that maybe if I had said something, I would have gotten Jade. Maybe she feels the same way or maybe she doesn't? Maybe is should just forget about all this-

Oh who am I kidding? There's no way I'll be able to stay away from Jade, when she's on my mind 24/7. I just can't do this anymore, what am I waiting for? Beck and Jade are done, Jade is single, this is my chance. I'm just going to have to take the risk before it's too late. The choice is mine and i'm taking it. It has been decided, tomorrow at the show, I'm going to tell Jade I love her.

* * *

Thank you and please review :D


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I do not own this show or the characters.**

**Chapter 11**

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

**Friday 6am, 13 Hours Until The Show **

It had been approximately a week and 2 days, since I've seen her or him. After the breakup, I couldn't show my face to either one of them. I just felt so ashamed, like I wasn't supposed to show up at school anymore. Every time I looked at Beck, I would feel so ashamed and guilty, almost like I wanted to hurt myself for all the pain I caused him. And every time I looked Tori, I would feel hurt and heartbreak, because even though I love her, I know I can't have her.

I couldn't face either one of them, it just hurt too much, to go back there, with all the madness I created. I just couldn't go back to the place that held do many bad memories for me, that's why I've been locked in my room, for most of my time. I don't do anything except lay down in my bed, stare blankly at my celling and contemplate life.

I only get up to use the bathroom and to eat, other than that I've been looking at the celling for more than 48 hours. I don't even have to worry about my dad forcing me to go to school because, he's too busy at work to even notice me. It's always been like this ever since my mom left, nothing has been right for me.

That's why I am the way I am, cold and bitter. People always stray away from me because of this, but now I found the person who doesn't runaway, instead she kept coming back to me. Instead of running away like everyone else, she tried to be there for me, when no one else could. She didn't focus on what was outside, she was able to look past that but, she focused on the inside.

She saw the real me, the me that wasn't cold and bitter. She made me actually feel something my heart never felt. Sometimes I think that she is the reason I still exists in this world, she gives me a reason to live, she keeps my heart beating by just smiling at me. She shows me that despite all the bad things this cruel world has to offer, there are some good things in life. And that is why i'm in love with Tori Vega.

That is also why i'm so broken. Even though she makes me happier than I've ever been, she also makes me feel heartache because, I know deep down that I am and never will be good enough for her. I'm a broken mess beyond repair, I was hoping Vega could fix me but, I don't even love myself, so how could I expect her to?

I couldn't even make Beck love me because I was so bitter, but that just proves he's not the one. I realize that this whole time that I love Beck but, I i'm not **_in_** love with him. I wish I could be because, being in love with Tori is 10 times worse.

Not only do I have to watch her fall for Ryder and walk around like it's not killing me, I also have to live with the fact that she doesn't know. She doesn't know that i'm madly in love with her and at this very moment I need her here with me and because, just her presence she can make me feel secure. She doesn't know that i'm not crying over Beck but, i'm actually crying because she's not her with me.

What she doesn't know is I literally fall apart when she ignores me and have a burst of joy of, when she smiles at me. She is the reason why I wake up every day, just so I can see her smile. Though I hate to admit I can't lie and say it's not true. She has no idea, I need her with me.

So why am I here and not telling her all this? For many reasons, like even though I know the truth and even if I do tell her, there's no way she would feel the same. Another reason is Beck, if I told Vega I loved her how would that make him feel? I wouldn't want to make him hurt more than he already should.

And besides who would want to be with someone who caused them so much pain? No one, I know I couldn't. Must people find someone that makes them happy, not tear them apart. And I know I wouldn't be the one to make Vega happy, i'm just not good enough for her. So this is how the story plays out, Vega lives her life happily, without knowing how much she means to me and I live my life with an unfixable broken heart.

* * *

**8am, 11 Hours Until The Show**

To say I was nervous was an understatement, I was beyond nervous, I was more so anxious. Not only do I have to perform but, I've deiced to tell Jade. I'm nervous not only it's a song I wrote but, because it's a love song I wrote about Jade. I expressed all my feelings about here and put all my heart into that song. I just really don't want to mess up.

But the overall main reason why i'm so nervous is because I don't know what Jade will do once I tell her I love her. I've never been this nervous about anything in my life.

"Tori, are you alright?" You're acting all fidgety." Andre asks, looking concerned at me. I try to stay calm and look fine, even though i'm freaking out inside. I let out a sigh and try to focus on putting my books in my locker for 2nd period.

" Yeah i'm fine, couldn't be better" I say giving Andre a fake smile.

"Tori, you're not a very good liar, now tell me what's wrong?" Andre asks and I should have known he wouldn't have believed me, seeing as he is my best friend and I can't lie.'

"Honestly…it's the show. I decided to tell Jade, during the show." I say, while sighing, I just really wanted this whole thing to blow over.

"So you decided to listen to tell her? Good, but…?"

"It's good but, i'm just worried that once I tell her, she's not going to feel the same way. I'm worried that I'll never get over this stupid crush thing with Jade." I say, depression overcoming me. I was so nervous that I almost didn't want to do this, because I was scared out of my mind.

"Tori, you can't keep worrying about that. You just have to take the risk and if she doesn't feel the same, then she doesn't know what she's missing right?" Andre says trying to comfort me, it felt good to have at least one friend who always tried to cheer you up.

"Who knows? Maybe she feels the same, you won't know if you don't try." Andre says giving me a smile, before walking away. If only it could be more simpler, if only I hadn't fallen for someone as complicated as Jade. I wouldn't have to worry about getting my heartbroken. If it could be that way, this whole situation wouldn't be as changeling. It would have been easier, but nothing in life is easy.

* * *

**11am, 8 Hours Until The Show**

Sleep. It's a wonderful thing, it's an escape to reality, where you can dream of a better world. That's what I needed right now, I dreamed of a world where things weren't so complicated and where things were different. I dreamt that I was Vega, it was the best dream I had in a long time, so when I got interrupted by my phone ringing, I wanted to murder someone. I groan, then I start to slowly get up to answer my phone on my nightstand.

"Hello?" I say, groggily tiresome in my voice.

"Hi Jade!" I groan and rolling my eyes, at who called me.

"What do you want Cat?" I ask annoyed by Cats perkiness. Whenever i'm in a bad mood or just woke up, anybody that talks to me, I just want to strangle them.

"I just wanted to say Hi. And also why haven't you been to school?" Cat asks, with an actual serious tone.

"That's none of your business okay." I say angrily.

"Jade, i'm just worried about you. I haven't seen you in weeks." Cat says in an actual worried voice.

"Cat, it's only been a week and 2 days." I say sighing into the phone.

"Still Jade, we miss you, the schools not the same without you." Cat says. People may not actually know this but, sometimes Cat makes absolute sense. She has her moments but she can really surprise people.

"I'm sorry Cat, I just don't feel well." I say, I didn't want to be mean towards Cat but, I also didn't want to tell her the truth. I couldn't say I wasn't at school because of Tori, if I did I would probably would have regretted it.

"Is it because of the breakup?"

"Look Cat I really don't want to talk about, wait did Beck tell you we broke up?" I say praying to God that Beck wasn't a jerk and told everyone the truth about our breakup.

"No it's on The Slap. And how could he have told us, when he hasn't been at school?" Cat asks, then I get curious. Beck was skipping school too? Why though? Probably because he couldn't go to school without wanting to hurt me for all the pain I caused him. This is just another reason why I should stay home.

"I should have known he was going to do that." I say a little relieved at how Beck didn't tell everyone about my secret. After all he is a sweet guy and he wouldn't be that cruel. But I also feel a little depressed knowing that after 2 good years together it's all over. But then I remember that it was me that ended all of it.

"Look I know you're not feeling well now, but are you going to at least going to the show?" Cat asks . I totally forgot that was even going on, with everything that's been going on, I forgot that the show was today. I remember how excited I was when I saw that Vega would be performing her own song. I wanted so badly to see her but, I dint I have the courage to show my face. I couldn't look her in the eye, without my heartbreaking.

"No, i'm not going."

* * *

**12pm,7 Hours Until The Show**

"So are you going to tell me your plan?" Andre asked me.

"Well once I get on stage I was going to stage I was going to say I dedicate this song to a special someone. And when the song is over I was going to tell her the song was for her." I say to Andre explaining my plan to finally tell Jade.

"Sounds good are you sure you want to go through with this?"

"Yeah…I mean, thought about it and even if she doesn't feel the same, it's okay. I'll just be really glad I told her, instead of wondering what could have happened." I say.

"Well i'm glad you decided to do this." Andre says smiling. "Are you excited?"

"Well a little-"

"Hey guys, what are you talking about?" Robbie ask sitting down next to Andre and Cat sits across me. It was lunch time and Beck and Jade, weren't here. They've been gone for a week now and I find myself worrying about Jade even more. I wanted to comfort her but knew I couldn't, she probably wouldn't let me do it, it wasn't my place. So all I could do was wait.

"We were just talking about the show." Andre says.

"Oh, yeah that's right aren't you performing?" Robbie asks.

"Yeah, it's just a song I wrote, nothing special." I say.

"I'd beg to differ. Seems pretty special, if you ask me." Andre says, with a knowing smile. I smile back and he winks at me.

"So is everyone going?" I ask

"I know I am." Cat says.

"Yeah count me in." Robbie says.

"Does anyone know about Beck or Jade?" I ask making sure that Jade had to be there at the show.

"Yeah I talked to Jade earlier today, she said she wasn't going because, she wasn't feeling well." Cat says and I instantly start to panic.

"What? She's not going?" I ask in shock and Andre grabs my shoulder to calm me down but I still feel uneasy.

"Yeah she says she's not feeling well, I think it has something to do with the breakup." Cat says.

"Oh well, she'll get over it eventually." Robbie says. I start to feel depressed and disappointed at the same time.

"This is not good, I wrote the song for Jade, how am I supposed to tell her if she's not going to be there?" I say as I whisper to Andre.

"Hey look, maybe she might change her mind. We still have a lot of time before the show." Andre says, trying to comfort me. This whole thing is a waist now, the whole point was to tell Jade how I felt but, how was going to do that if she wasn't going to show up?

* * *

**3pm,5 Hours Until The Show**

Right about now school would have been let out and everyone would be leaving to go home. What's the point of going home, when you have to go back for the show anyway? This is another good reason why i'm staying here.

But the real reason why i'm staying is the one that I keep avoiding, is not because i'm tired but, more like i'm scared out of my mind. But what the hell am I so scared of? Oh yeah, Vega, that's right. That's who i'm hiding from, because i'm afraid of the pain and humiliation.

That's why I've been locked up in my bedroom, I've been running form the truth . I don't think I can walk into school without wanting to cry in front of Beck and without wanting to fall into Vegas arms.

That's why it's safer for me to hide out. But I can't hide run away forever. Someday I will eventually have to go back to school, but this is not the time. So once I find the courage to go back, I'll be staying here. But who knows how long that will be?

Instead of dwelling over the idea, I get up from bed and decide to make lunch. Since Cat called me, I've done nothing except watch endless horror movies. When I make my way into the kitchen I notice that i'm alone. I think my dad must have gone to work already.

Since I was alone I was surprised to hear the doorbell ring, Curious to know who would think to stop at my house, I open the door and i'm shocked to who I see at my door.

"Trina? What the hell are you doing at my house?"

"Jade, I need you to listen to me, there's something I got to tell you."

* * *

**Thank you and please review :D**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or the show. I also don't own the song Crush, David Archuleta does.**

**I would just like to thank all my amazing reviewers, seriously you guys are awesome. I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

**5pm, 2 Hours Until The Show**

Simple was not the right word to use in this situation. It was anything but simple, more like complicated. This whole thing is complicated, more than complicated actually.

I was torn and disappointed with the news I heard earlier. Knowing that Jade wasn't going to show up for the show left me helpless. I wanted her to hear my song, I wanted to tell her the truth. That was whole part of my plan.

But now it's a complete waist because, she's not going to be there. I know I could just tell her how feel but, expressing my feelings is really hard for me to do. I never knew what to say especially when it comes to Jade. Whenever I got near Jade, I start to get nervous and jittery. I think of what to say but when I see her, my tongue gets tied and I never say it.

I find it easier to express my thoughts and feelings through a song. Because as they say when words fail, music speaks. So I was looking forward for Jade to hear what I had to say. But now she'll never know.

"Tori, you okay?"

Yeah, i'm fine." I say knowing damn well I wasn't doing fine.

"Tori you're not still worrying about Jade are you? I told you we still have plenty of time before the show." Andre says seeing right through my problem.

"I know Andre, I know that we have time but, i'm worried that if she does come, she won't like the song or worse she won't like me."

"Tori you can't keep worrying about that. Who knows what could happen? Jade could walk into school hear your song and feel the same way. You just got to stop thinking about the negative things. The possibilities are endless." Andre says, while giving me an encouraging hug.

"Funny, someone said the same thing." I say, with a smile, as I remember my "date" with Ryder.

"Thanks Andre, you're such a good friend."

"No problem and if she doesn't feel the same, we will get through it together." He says giving me a genuine smile. I smile back feeling thankful for having a friend like Andre.

"Now don't you have a show to get ready for?" Andre says and with that statement said, I head straight to the theatre to get ready.

* * *

**6pm, 1 Hour Until The Show**

Once I headed to the theatre and signed up for the show, I fortunately for me, found out that I was going last. There was going to be 8 people performing before me, which meant that would give Jade plenty of time to show up to hear me sing.

After I got all that settled I went home and got ready. There at home I practiced my song, toke a shower, did my makeup and picked my outfit for tonight. I decided on a simple sparkly red shirt, with my leather jacket and black skinny jeans.

After I got my outfit, it was then I realized that Trina wasn't here. With that in my mind, I started to panic because, she was my ride to the show. Without Trina here won't be able to go to the show. And if I don't go to the show, I can't tell Jade. An can't tell Jade, I'll live alone forever! Where is Trina, I need her here?! My prayers are answered when I come through the door and walk into the house.

"Trina, where have you been the show starts in less than an hour?" I say panicking, I could not afford to be late and miss my opportunity.

"Relax, well get there on time, I just had things I needed to care of." She says all nonchalantly like she doesn't care and rather be anywhere else, whereas i'm freaking out right now.

"What things were more important than this?" I say curious as to where Trina could have been, knowing Trina she was probably out shopping.

"Those **_things_** are none of your business." She says, secretively like I shouldn't know.

"Fine, whatever, can we just go?" I say not really caring on whatever Trina had to do. All I knew was that I had to be at the show and pray to God that Jade would be there.

* * *

**7pm, The Show Has Begun**

Time, that was the only thing I needed right now. If only I could turn it back, if only I could make it go slower, then maybe I would have a good chance here.

Because time was not on my side right now. The show had already started outside the Asphalt Café and all the seats were filled. Robbie, Cat, Andre, Trina and even Beck was here. Everyone was here all expect for Jade.

The one person I needed the most. I never needed her more now, than I did before. If only she would have come, I just needed to tell her, show her how much I cared about her. With already 5 people who performed already, that meant there were only 3 people left, and then it would be me. With 3 left, I was convinced that Jade wasn't coming.

"Tori, you okay?" Andre asks, he was standing next to me with his guitar backstage. He was going to be up there with me on his guitar, when I was performing and i'm happy that he's here right now because i'm freaking out right now.

"To be honest, i'm freaking out over here." I say while fidgeting with ni hands and looking down at the ground, I'm known to do this when i'm nervous.

"Tori don't worry, she'll be here." He says while giving me a promising look.

"Yeah well if she wanted to come she would have been here by now." I say. "Let's face it Jades not coming." I say with a disappointed look. I just have to face the fact that Jade isn't coming and I have to find the courage to move on, which is going to be nearly impossible.

"Tori you got a point, but you shouldn't think like that. You never know she could supri-"

"Thanks Andre for the encouragement but, its not going to happen." I say cutting Andre off. I appreciated his attempt to cheer me up but, he knew as well as I did, that this whole chance was over for me. I sigh as I take my place on stage. Jades not here because she knows i'm not worth it. And even though my heart is a broken, the show must go on.

Just smile and pretend like it's not killing you inside.

* * *

Crowd of at least over 50, the lights are dim, and the spotlight is on me. There's utter silence and all eyes are on me now.

"Ummm….Hi, I'm Tori Vega and this is a song I wrote for a special someone." I say nervously, even though i'm sure that the "special someone" isn't here, the show still must go on. I turn back to look at Andre who gives me a smile and I nod, letting him know to begin the song. The music starts and I take one last breath before beginning.

**_I hung up the phone tonight_**

**_Something happened for the first time_**

**_Deep inside_**

**_It was a rush What a rush_**

**_'Cause the possibility_**

**_That you would ever feel the same way About me_**

**_It's just too much Just too much_**

**_ Why do I keep running from the truth? All I ever think about is you_**

****I sing and as I belt out my heart, I think of how Jade was the only thing on my mind 24/7. And I think of how scared I was to admit it at first. But now I know the truth.

**_You got me hypnotized So mesmerized_**

**_ And I've just got to know Do you ever think_**

**_ When you're all alone All that we could be?_**

**_ Where this thing could go?_**

**_ Am I crazy or falling in love?_**

**_ Is it real or just another crush? Do you catch a breath_**

**_ When I look at you? Are you holding back_**

**_ Like the way I do? 'Cause I'm trying, trying to walk away_**

**_ But I know this crush ain't going Away_**

**_ Going away_**

I sing out and I think at how at first I tried so hard to push this feeling away but, it would never go away. Because just like the song I knew that my love for Jade wasn't going to end.

**_Has it ever crossed your mind When we're hanging,_**

**_ Spending time, girl, are we just friends?_**

**_ Is there more? Is there more? (Is there more)_**

**_ See it's a chance we've gotta take_**

**_ 'Cause I believe that we can make this Into something that'll last_**

**_ Last forever Forever_**

**_ Do you ever think When you're all alone _**

**_All that we could be? Where this thing could go?_**

**_ Am I crazy or falling in love?_**

**_ Is it real or just another crush? Do you catch a breath_**

**_ When I look at you? Are you holding back_**

**_ Like the way I do? 'Cause I'm trying, trying to walk away_**

**_ But I know this crush ain't going Away _**

**_Going away_**

By this time people are cheering me on in the crowd and even though i'm happy that they enjoy the song, i'm also very disappointed, that the person I wrote it for isn't here. Even though I know she's not there my eyes search the crowd for a certain someone. But to my disappointment she's not there and I feel even more depressed than before if that's possible.

**_Why do I keep running from the truth? (Why do I keep running)_**

**_ All I ever think about is you (All I ever think about)_**

**_ You got me hypnotized (Hypnotized)_**

**_ So mesmerized (mesmerized)_**

**_ And I've just got to know Do you ever think (ever think)_**

**_ When your all alone (all alone)_**

**_All that we could be, Where this thing could go (goooo)_**

**_ Am i crazy or falling in love, (crazy)_**

**_ Is this real or just another crush (another crush)_**

**_ Do you catch a breath, When i look at you,_**

**_ Are you holding back, Like the way i do,_**

**_ Cause' i'm tryin tryin to walk away,_**

**_ But i know this crush aint' going_**

**_ Away ya ya ya yaaa (this crush ain't)_**

**_ Going away ya ya ya yaaa (goin' away)_**

**_ Going away ya ya ya yaaa (when you're all alone_**

**_ All that we could be,_**

**_ Where this thing could go (going awayyyy)_**

**_ Going away ya ya ya yaaa_**

As the song ends, I hear the crowd cheer and stand up for applause. Now the only question on everybody's mind is, who was that song for? Too bad that person wasn't here. I think to myself as I make my way backstage and I get attacked by my group of friends.

"Tori, you were great up there!" Cat exclaims while giving me her famous bear hugs.

"You did great Tori." Robbie says, while also smiling.

"Nice job Tor. You blew up the stage back there!" Andre says, with a super bright smile, also giving me an enormous hug.

"You weren't bad on the guitar either." I say as I joke around. And even though Jade isn't here I am thankful for the group of friends that I have. I smile as I receive a "good job" and some hugs from everyone.

"Nice job Tori, you did good." Beck says with a real smile and I was a little apprehensive at first because I haven't seen Beck since the breakup. But I was happy to see him.

"Thank you." I say returning the smile back. And everyone makes their way back to the crowd, we agreed to get pizza to celebrate so I stayed back to get my stuff real quick.

"Nice job, up there." I hear someone say and I turn around to see a face I hadn't seen in a while.

"Ryder?" I say shocked and happy to see him. After the "date" we had, it was like he dropped off the face of earth. That's why I was so shocked to see him here.

"Oh my gosh, I didn't know you were going to be here!" I say as I run over to him to give him a hug. He hugs me back and then I look at him.

"Wow, you're looking good." I say joking around, if not for Jade I would have more than likely fallen for Ryder.

"Yeah, well you're not too bad yourself." He says joking right back. "It's good to see you Tori, you were amazing out there." He says smiling.

"Thanks it's good to see you too." I say

"I take it you wrote that song to the person you were trying to get over?"

"Yeah, well your right about that." I say thinking about how I "dated" Ryder to try and get over Jade.

"And I take it, that your still in love with them correct?"

"Yep, your absolutely right." I say, there's no way I could get over Jade now that I said I loved her.

"I'd figure, look i'm sorry about that Tori, I really am." He says looking really sorry for me.

"Yeah well…. I guess its just not meant to be." I say looking disappointed as I soon realize that the way I feel about Jade was not reciprocated. "But hey don't worry about me, what about you? How did your thing go?" I say remembering Ryder's situation.

"oh, well its okay I guess. I asked her out and well…..she said yes!" Ryder exclaims and I automatically feel happy for him.

"Oh my gosh, that's great, so she feels the same way?"

"Yep, she finally agreed after our date and we've been dating ever since." Ryder says while smiling from ear to ear. And I can see in his smile that he's really happy this time.

"That's so great, i'm really happy for you."

"Yeah the next time you see Cat, just know that she's not single anymore."

"Its Cat? You like Cat? Wow oh my gosh, I would have never guessed. I'm so happy for both of you."

"Thanks." He says while smiling. I smile back but then it turns into a frown. Ryder sees this, then asks

"Tori what's wrong? I understand if you don't want to talk about this-"

"No, no its okay. If anyone got together i'm glad it was you and Cat." I say happy for the couple. "It's just that this night didn't turn out the way I wanted it to." I say, looking back at how I was finally going to admit my feelings.

"How was it supposed to turn out?"

"Well I wrote the song, expressing my feelings and since i'm no good at telling people how I feel, I did it in song. I was hoping that the person I liked would be here to hear it but, she didn't show. Now shell never know how I really feel." I say feeling even more depressed at myself.

I never had the words to say, so I knew if Jade was here I could have said all I needed to say in that one song.

"I see your problem but there is something you could do. You could just stand up, face your fears and just tell her. If she really means that much to you, then she's worth the risk." Ryder says.

"That's true but, i'm more afraid that i'm not worth it. What if i'm not good enough for her?" I ask feeling as though I could never be the one for Jade.

"Tori, your amazing and beautiful, if she doesn't see that, if she doesn't love you the way you are, then it's her loss." Ryder says, and I smile I knew that was my only other option. Win or loss I had to tell Jade.

"You'll never know how shell feel unless you try. And you never know she could feel the same. The possibilities are-"

"Endless. Yes, I know." I say jokingly and we laugh together.

"Man whoever this chick is she'll be lucky to have you." Ryder says and I smile.

"Thanks Cats pretty lucky to have such an amazing boyfriend."

"Oh please, in the lucky one and besides you still haven't told me who that special someone was."

"Its Jade, that song was for Jade." I say nonchalantely, immediately which I hadn't said anything when I hear a voice behind me.

"What!?" I turn around to be meeting with those familiar green eyes. And I turn around to become face to face with Jade West.

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**Thank you for reading and please review :D**


	13. Chapter 13

**First off I would just like to apologize for taking so long to update, I broke the computer at my mom's house. So I had to go to my dad's house to use his computer. But don't worry this story is not over yet. And since you guys are so awesome and patient, I decided to give you guys two chapters today. So I hope you Enjoy :)**

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**Friday 3pm, 5 Hours Until The Show**

I was shocked at how Trina found out where I lived but I was more shocked at what she told me. Her exact words were very interesting yet confusing as well.

**_ Flashback:_**

**_"Trina? What the hell are you doing at my house?"_**

**_"Jade, I need you to listen to me there's something I got to tell you." She says, rather seriously. I get confused as to why she is here but, I was more curious to know what she was dying to tell me._**

**_What's so important?" I ask annoyed._**

**_"I heard your not going to the show." She says and I roll my eyes._**

**_"So, what does it matter to you anyway?" I say with even more annoyance._**

**_"You need to go." She says, very seriously._**

**_"Why? Why should I go to that stupid show? More important question is, why do you care if I go or not?" I ask, if she came here to try convince me to change my mind, then really all of this was a waste._**

**_" I care because, something really bad could happen if you don't go and something good could happen if you do go." She says and I get even more confused as to what the hell she's talking about. Something bad could happen?_**

**_"What does that even mean?" I ask._**

**_"I can't tell you everything, it's not for me to say. But I guarantee you wont regret it if you show up." She says and I finally realize what she's talking about, if I go something good will happen to her. How selfish is that?_**

**_"Why should I go? I'm not going just because something good will happen to you. No way." I say about to slam the door into her face, until she stops me with her foot._**

**_"Its not for me, its for your own good. If you go, you will not only make yourself happy but, you'll make someone else happy too. Someone who deserves to be happy. I know this all sounds crazy but believe me I wouldn't be here if it wasn't important. Just think about it." And before I could ask another question she walks away and leaves me standing at my door very confused._**

As I stare at the ceiling I replay her words again. **_"Its for your own good."_**

What does that even mean? For my own good? I already made it clear that I wasn't going but, I cant help but wonder what would happen if I did show up. I'd probably run into Beck and by seeing him, he would probably run away from me, as if I had a disease or worse I might see Vega there. If

I saw here would have broken down into a million tears. So what good thing could possibly happen if I showed up? Nothing good will happen. **_But I don't know that, do I? _**Says the voice inside my head. I can't predict the future, I don't know what could happen.

But was it my job to really show up? **_If I wanted to be happy then yes, I had to show up. _**There goes that stupid voice inside my head. But its just not for my own happiness, its for somebody else's too. But who would I be making happy if I went?

It was obvious people would have been fine doing the show without me there. Because being proven that only one person wanted me to go besides Cat, showed me that no one really wanted me there. I know Cat wanted me to go but why would **_Trina_**, of all people, want to convince me to go?

Obviously this must be really important because, if it wasn't Trina wouldn't have come. So clearly me going wasn't going to be a waste of time. But then again if it really were that important ,why wouldn't more people have come to my house and convene me to go?

None of this stuff made any sense. This all sounded like a big joke, besides who's got the time to watch talent less kids sing? Not me, that why I'm not going. My mom left, my dad hates me, my ex-boyfriend looks down on me and I'm in love with a person who couldn't care less about me.

Nothing good has ever happened in my life. What will make this any different? When nothing good ever happens to you, you expect that life will never be good for you anymore. Since my life has never been great, I just think that there is nothing good waiting for me.

* * *

Absolutely perfect. Flawless and breathtaking. The way her hair falls in her face, the way she takes my breath away when she smiles. And the way she performs on stage, almost like she doesn't have a worry in the world. She's absolutely perfect to me.

Those are the thoughts I had when my eyes landed on Tori Vega for the first time. She amazes me in every possible way. She makes my heart skip a thousands beats just by being next to me.

And right now seeing her performing on stage, makes me remember all the reasons why I fell in love with her. She's just so mesmerizing, I can stare at her for hours and be speechless at how beautiful she is. That's how much I love her.

I'd do anything for her and I'd do anything to be with her, because she's the key to happiness in my life. If only she could see how much she means to me. Then she would see how much I care and need her.

Then she could see that I'm the one who can love her better than that Ryder guy can, who she wrote the song for. She wrote it for him. Why though? **_Because she's in love with him and she doesn't care about you. _**I think to myself as I listen to the lyrics that Tori sings out perfectly. I study and hang on to every word she belts out.

This song was bout being in love, so why would I even start to think that she was singing about me? I treated her like she was worthless, why would she be in love with me? **_She's not in love with me_**. She found someone who will actually be good for her, even though I said I could be better obviously I didn't know what I was talking about. I couldn't be good for her because, all I ever did was treat her like she was nothing.

If I was good enough for her I wouldn't have to hide and feel this broken about my feelings. I would have had her all to myself by now. But no, instead I'm hiding, literally. Lets just say my mind completely changed and I went to the show, because I so desperately wanted to know what important thing would happen. And to avoid being seen by my ex and my secret crush I decided to hide far way in the back of the crowd.

And so far nothing really "good" has happened yet, if anything bad things were just happening. I arrived just in time to see Tori perform and right now I'm literally shedding tears. It's just that seeing her so beautiful on stage and knowing that who's she's signing for wasn't for me…just breaks my heart.

Just to know that the one person who brings you all this joy, to know the one person you love doesn't love you back is probably the worst kind of pain you can experience. That's why I had to leave before I explode and drown in my sadness.

Thankfully I was standing way in the back of the crowd that way no one can see me cry. I leave now before anyone can stop me, I push my way through the crowd of people. And I make it out to the parking lot almost getting to my car, I stop what I'm doing, when I hear a familiar voice behind me.

"Running away again?" the voice says. And I turn to be meet with the person I shared my life with for two years.

"Beck….what are you doing here?" I ask while sniffling. I try to keep my voice steady but, Beck can tell that I was crying.

"I should ask you the same ting." He says while taking a step closer to me. Now I can see his face, I hadn't seen him in a week. Since the breakup, I've completely ignored him. He's wearing black pants, with a grey long sleeve shirt, with his black boots. Nothing has changed , just the same old nonchalant Beck that I know.

"I was told happiness was here waiting for me but….as you can see….I'm not happy. There's nothing waiting here for me." I say looking down at the ground, trying to avoid Beck's eyes.

"Why do you say that?" he asks

"Because nothing good ever happens to me. My life is a mess. I'm a mess. I'm such a mess that not even you could have fixed me." I say crying my eyes out now.

"That's not true. I couldn't fix you because I wasn't the right person." He says hugging me now and I bury my face in his neck. I smell the familiar smell that is Beck and let the tears fall down my face.

"If your not the one, who is? It can't be Tori." I say.

"Why not you said it yourself, you feel something for her that you couldn't feel for me." He says.

"That's true, but how could she be the one when she doesn't even love me back?" I ask, with my voice cracking. I look at Beck hoping he could help me.

"You don't know that have you told her how you feel?" he ask

"No, but I know she hates me because I treat her so badly, there's no way she could ever love me." I say, chocking on my words.

"You don't know that. For all we know she could be in love with you right now." Beck says, with concern eyes and I stop crying once I realize what Beck said.

"Really? You think so?" I ask, with all the hope I have left in me, I actually believe him. I actually believe there could be a chance.

"Yes….tell her how you feel. Show her that you need her." Beck says, looking me in the eye. And I hug him for dear life, thankful I had him in my life.

"I don't get it." I say after he gets done hugging me.

"Get what?" he asks.

"You should be mad at me, I basically lied to you in our relationship. You should hate me." I say

"I should but I don't…I actually love you probably always will. And yeah it sucked knowing that you were in love with someone else at the same time we were together but, somewhere in between I knew you loved me." Beck's says and I smile. Even though my heart completely belongs to Tori, I knew I would always have feelings for Beck. First loves can never be forgotten.

"And beside life is too short to be angry all the time, so it's the best if were both happy with someone we love." He says with a smile and I smile back. " I know that Tori can make you happy, so I'm happy for you. Just umm…. Promise you wont forgot about me. Beck says while giving me a hug.

"I wont, I promise." And this time I actually mean it, there's no way I could forget someone as caring as Beck. As I hear the applause that must mean that the show is done and it also means that Tori just finished performing.

"Now is your chance." Beck says and we both walk back into the crowd.

* * *

Life is full of opportunities and right now this was my opportunity to became happy. Since I haven't been happy in a long time I was ready to take the steps to make my life more filled with joy instead of sorrow. And to do that I had to tell Tori how I felt about her.

Even thought she probably couldn't care less about me, I had to let her now, that I don't hate her. I had to tell her the reason why I treated her so badly. I had to do this, not for her good but my own. With this in mind, I finally understood what Trina meant.

After the show was over I was going to backstage and tell her the truth. So, I waited until everyone else was gone, then I could explain everything.

"Nice job Tori, you did good." I hear beck say and I smile. I now realized I actually had one good thing in my life and I was glad that was Beck. Once I hear everyone leave in the crowd, I not I've Tori is the only one left. This is it. This is my chance at happiness don't screw it up. I take a deep breath and slowly walk up to her but, I stop when I hear another voice.

"Nice job, up there." The voice says and my heart shatters, once I realize who the voice belongs to.

"Ryder?" I hear Tori say. "Oh my gosh I didn't even know you were coming" I hear her say and I watch as she runs over to hug him. My heart breaks as I watch the scene unfold in front of me.

"Wow, you're looking good." She says.

"Yeah well, your not too bad yourself." He says jokingly and I resist the urge the punch him at his lame joke. "It's good to see you Tori, you were amazing up there." He says.

I knew it was to good to be true, if for a second I though she felt the same way, I must have been out of my mind. It was cleat here that she was obviously in love with Ryder, why else would she have written that song? Once I'm convinced that it was a bad idea to come here, I turn around to leave but, I hear something that stops me.

"I take it you wrote t hat song to the person you were trying to get over?" Ryder says.

"Yeah, well your right about that." Tori says and then I get overly excited and confused. She didn't write the song for Ryder? Who was she trying to get over? What does this all mean? I ask myself as I listen in on the conversation.

"And I take it, that you didn't get over them?" Ryder ask and I get super anxious to know ho t his person was.

"No, not really." She says.

"I'd figure look, I'm sorry about that Tori. I really am." He says.

"Yeah well…. I guess it's just not meant to be." She says. "But hey don't worry about e, what about you? How did your thing go?" she ask

"Oh, well it's okay I guess. I asked her out and she said….yes!" Ryder says and I could not believe the words that were being said.

Ryder asked out a different girl and that girl wasn't Tori. That much was true. That must mean that there not going out, she doesn't love him. Its clear that she loves somebody else, but who?

"Tori what's wrong?" I understand if you don't want to talk about it." Ryder says.

"No, no it's okay. If anyone got together I'm glad it was you and Cat." She says and I'm shocked that out of all girls Ryder would have chosen Cat. But then again there is no denying that Cat is gorgeous.

"It's just that this night didn't turn out the way I wanted it to." Tori says and I listen in to every word she says because, she has my full attention now.

"How was it supposed to turn out?" Ryder ask.

"Well I wrote the song, expressing my feelings and since I'm no good at telling people how I feel, I did it in song. I was hoping that the person I liked would be here to hear it but, she didn't show. Now she'll never know how I really feel." Tori says and when I hear the word "she'll" I start to get a little joy inside me.

Vega liked a girl. A **_girl. _**Anybody could be that girl.**_I _**could be that girl. But then again why would it be me? I'm not special, let alone perfect, I'm far form it. I don't know if I could be what Tori wants.

"I see your problem but, there is something you could do. You could just stand up and face your fears and just tell her." Ryder says and I scoff at how convenient this thing is. As I recall I was told to face my fears and admit to Tori that I love her, I never thought Vega was doing the same.

"Man whoever this chick is, she'll be lucky to have you." Ryder says and I get a little rage of jealous and heart break. I think I could have managed if she loved Ryder but, the fact she was in love with another girl, makes it 10 times worse. Whatever girl tore was falling for was very lucky indeed.

"You still haven't told me who that special someone is." Ryder says and I get super anxious to hear the answer that my heart almost stops, when I hear these next words.

"It's for Jade, that song was for Jade." Tori says and I'm so shocked that I forgot that I was supposed to be hiding.

"What!?" I exclaim as I come out of the corner and see Tori with a shocked face.

"Jade…"

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** Thank you and please review :D**


	14. Chapter 14

**Here is the second chapter of the day. And Just to be clear this is ****_not_**** the last chapter.**

**Enjoy** **:)**

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"Jade…" I say shocked and yet nervous that she was here. I hoped that she hadn't overheard what just happened but, by the look on her face it says otherwise.

"I should go…umm…it was good seeing you Tori. I'll catch you later." Ryder says and I turn around to wave him goodbye. He leaves and I turn back around to face the one person I love the most.

"Jade…umm…h-how long have you been standing there?" I ask nervously, I was praying to God that she hadn't heard anything because, this was not the way I was supposed to tell her.

"Just long enough." Is all she says and I start to get worried. Worried that she's angry and that she'll punch me or worse she'll start to ignore me, I can't let that happen. I don't think I can last without talking to Jade. Maybe she'll beat me up and tell everyone then my life would be over, oh gosh I'm freaking out!

I start to panic at how quiet Jade is but, I calm down when she starts to speak again.

"How long?" she asks, with her eyes on me, while her arms are crossed. When she asks me this I get confused as to what she's asking me.

"How long what?" I ask.

"How long have you had a crush one me?" she asks and I immediately get nervous. I close my eyes and take a deep breath as I think to myself that this is it. There is no turning back now, this is your chance to tell her how you feel. I sigh before answering.

"Since I first saw you…to be honest." I say and as cliché as it sounds. It's true, the first time I saw Jades face I knew, what love at first sight meant.

" When I entered Hollywood Arts I just thought it would be normal as any other school. I thought nothing extraordinary would happen. But I was wrong, this school isn't anywhere near normal, it's different. That's why I loved it here." I say explaining my thoughts when I entered this school for the first time.

"But what I loved most about this school was the people here. Everyone here had so much talent and was extremely fun to be around. When I met Cat, Andre, Robbie, and Beck I thought that I belonged here. I thought everything was going to be fine. But when I met you….I knew that my life would never be the same." I say looking down at the ground as I remember the first time I laid my eyes on what I thought was the most beautiful girl in the world.

And even now that I'm talking about it I still remember those eyes, I've never seen dark green eyes as captivating as Jades. Talking about it right now brings back all the feelings I had or still have.

"It was just something about you that made me feel things I've never felt before, I don't know if it was your attitude or the way you look at life. I don't know how you did it but, you managed to still my heart and break it at the same time." I say and as I pour my heart out I notice Jade hasn't done or said anything she just stands there with her arms crossed and an unreadable expression lays her face.

As I see this I think I made a mistake trying to express my feelings. But I can't take it back I already said too much.

"I know it's ridiculous for me to feel this way, because I know you don't feel the same way. But I just had to tell you before I went on with my life regretting that I never told you." I say finally, looking into Jades eyes. Expecting her to be mad at me I'm shocked to see tears in her eyes.

"J-Jade? Why…are you crying?" I ask feeling sympathetic as I wonder why she was crying.

"I-I thought you loved him." She says as a single tear comes down her eye, while she looks down at the ground. When she says this I get confused at who she means by "him", I get it once I realize who she's talking about.

"Who Beck? No I don't love him at all. Were just friends I promise. I would never do that I know how much you love him. I wouldn't-" I say

"I don't love him." Jade says cutting me off and I get even more confused as to what she's saying to me. Beck and Jade have been together for more than 2 years, when I first came here I was told that they were the "it" couple. So to hear that she doesn't love him makes me wonder if she ever did.

"But the break up? Weren't you upset, wasn't that the reason you didn't come to school for days?" I ask, she just shakes her head and looks at me.

"No, it's not because of Beck. It's because of you…." She says and I'm shocked as to why Jade would blame me for all this.

"What? What did I do?" I ask.

"I couldn't be there. I just couldn't watch you fall in love with someone else. It just hurt too much." Jade says and I could not believe the words she was saying. Did Jade say she couldn't watch me fall in love with someone else? I wonder if I heard her right or if I was just daydreaming. But as I pinch myself I realize that this is real, this is really happening. I look into Jades eyes and I don't see menace or anger I see pain and heartbreak.

"I'm not in love with anybody else, just you. Only you." I say.

"But why? Why would you love me when I've treated you like you were nothing the w hole entire time you were here? You should hate me." She says while looking at me, I walk over to her and take her hands in mine.

"Your right, I probably should hate you but, I don't . I can't, I could never just ignore you. It would be pure torture for me. That's why I was so depressed every time you would avoid me." I say telling the truth. It would always hurt me whenever Jade tormented me but, it would hurt me even more when Jade would ignore me completely.

"Is that why you tried so hard to help me even when I was such s bitch?" is that why you wanted to be my friend so badly?" Jade asks and I nod.

"Yes….I just wanted to show you that I cared about you. And no matter how much I tried to tell myself that you're not good for me, it would never work. Because you were always on my mind." I say looking into jades hypnotizing emerald eyes.

That one time I tried to help Jade get back together with Beck, absolutely broke my heart. To see Jade cry made my heart break but, at the same time I was happy that she came to me. I knew then that Jade really cared about Beck. And even though I so badly wanted Jade all to myself, I tried my best to help her get back together with Beck. I did it for Jade ,because I just wanted to see her happy. And I thought she would be happy if she was with Beck. But right now I'm starting to think that maybe I'm just what Jade needs.

"So for all those times you dated other guys and all those times I hurted you? You still loved me?" Jade asks.

"I never stopped. I always knew that I would eventually feel something for you. I saw the signs. Whenever I got near you I would get nervous and when id touch you I felt sparks. I would always have you on my mind. Back then I didn't know what to call this feeling but, now I know that I was in love with you the entire time." I say looking into Jades eyes and I see her smile that gives me chills all over.

"Wow….as cheesy as this sounds, I have to thank you. You showed me what it feels like to be in love, which is something I thought id never feel. And I just wanted to say I love you." Jade says and I become overwhelmed with happiness. It seems like I'm in a dream. A beautiful dream that I hope never ends. But as I'm reminded this isn't a dream this is real and I couldn't be more happy.

"I love you too." I say as I wrap my arms around Jade and I close my eyes as our lips meet. And I swear I saw fireworks explode off inside my head as, I felt a thousand sparks surge through my body.

I just hope that Jade felt the same way but, judging from how passionate this kiss is I now know that my heart belongs to Jade now. As we break away from the kiss, I can still feel the taste of Jades lips on mine.

"You don't now how long I have wanted to do that." I say completely in awe of our first kiss.

"Believe me I know how long." She says and we both laugh. I smile before asking Jade

"So where does that leave us?" I ask.

"Well whenever to people say they love each other and then they kiss, it usually means that there together." Jade says sarcastically and I laugh.

"Okay I know that, so does that mean were together?"

"I don't know do you want to be with me?" jade ask

"More than anything." I say.

"Then it's official, Tori will you be my girlfriend?" Jade ask and I smile.

"Yes I thought you'd never ask I say and I smile from ear to ear. This really was a dream come true.

"Okay now, that it's official why don't we go spread the word? I heard you guys were having a party. Want to go?" jade ask and I look down at the ground.

"Actually I wanted to spend some time with you." I say blushing a little.

"I'm glad you said that how about I take my lovely girlfriend out on our first date?" jade asks and all I do is smile.

"I would love that." And before I knew it I was walking out in the crowd with Jade West as my girlfriend and I couldn't be happier. Because right now holding Jades hand, having her by my side and knowing she loves me as much as I love her, I finally realize that nothing in the world is better than being with the on you love.

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**Thank you and please review :D**


	15. Chapter 15

***Sigh* All good things must eventually come to an end and i'm sad to say that this is the last chapter of my story. But alas, I was going to make a sequel for you guys, so ****_please_**** let me know if you guys want to see a sequel happening. Furthermore I present you the last chapter.**

**Enjoy :)**

**P. S. Ten points for the first person who figures out whos POV this is.**

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Worthless. Talent less. Annoying. Conceited. These are the words that people use to describe me. Everyone at school would agree that I'm annoying and talent less. People always remember me for all the annoying and bad things I do. But no one remembers me for all the **_good _**this I do.

Like when I got Jade and Tori together. No one knew it was really me who made it happen. Yep that's right if it weren't me, Tori wouldn't be as happy as she is now. And it's all because of **_me_**. Even after three weeks no one knows it was me.

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**_Three Weeks Ago_**

It was just a normal afternoon in the Vega household. Just an ordinary day, I was getting my beauty sleep like I always do because, 4 hours of sleep is really important for superstars to have.

I was in the middle of a perfect dream, when I heard what sounded like yelling from downstairs. I groaned out loud, I was upset that I got interrupted in my sleep. So to make sure I couldn't get interrupted again, I went downstairs to tell Tori and her friend to keep it down.

I got up from my bed, opened my door and slowly walked down the steps. While I was walking down the stairs, I overheard what they were yelling about.

"It's not funny, why are you laughing?" I hear Tori say and by the sound of her voice, I could tell she was very angry.

"I'm being serious here, I really like her a lot." I hear Tori say and I dig in my ears to make sure I heard her right. Maybe I was still dreaming or something but, did I just hear my sister say she likes **_her_**? As in a girl?

"You like Jade?" I hear Andre say and he sounds just as shocked as I do.

"Yes I like her, that's why I wrote this song." Tori says and I gasp. Before Tori or Andre realize I'm there I quickly and quietly run up the stairs.

I shut my door and lay on my bed, with a shock expression on my face. I know its bad to eavesdrop but this kind of information was something I needed to know. Tori, my younger sister "liked", as in like-like Jade West? I know I sound like a 5 year old but, I just could not believe that this was true. How could Tori like Jade, the same person who torments her everyday?

I just couldn't believe that, this was all too much for me. It's not everyday you find out your sister liked another girl, so I was shocked to say the least. I was even more shocked when I found out that the girl she liked was Jade.

It's not like I have a problem with her liking another girl , I would never do it, but why would she like Jade, out of all girls? Doesn't Jade treat her like Crap all the time? So why would she like someone who hurt them? I guess that's something I'll never understand.

But one thing I did understand was that this was bad. I knew that day I knew why Tori was always helping out Jade its because she genuinely liked Jade, a lot. I now know the reason why she kept coming back for Jade.

I knew if Tori wanted my help she would have said something, so I'm guessing she wanted to keep this a secret that's why she told Andre. So I knew if word got out that she liked Jade, it would this would all end badly. So I knew I had to keep my mouth shut and act as if I don't know anything I just heard. It was that day I knew I had a job to do. And my job was to get those two together. Because it was obvious they both had feelings for each other. How do I know this? I know it because I went undercover. Most people would have said that I was being a stalker or whatever but, what I did was completely different.

I hanged low, I acted as if I wasn't there but, really I was here the entire time. I've just been hiding from everyone involved. It wasn't hard to hide because no one pays that much attention to me anyway. I know I act like people care about me a lot but, I can see that they really couldn't care less about what I do. So I just decided to investigate more into the situation to find out if Tori really like Jade.

And from what I observed I could tell that Tori really did like Jade a lot. I saw it in her eyes every time she looked at Jade, her eyes were filled with love and promise. And as cheesy as that sounded it was true. Tori would act different whenever Jade was around. Jade might not have seen it but the signs were there.

Whenever someone would mention Jades name, Tori would immediately become overtaken with interest. Whenever Jade was near Tori, Tori would get nervous and tense up.

I even observed Jade to see if she showed any feelings for Tori. And I noticed that if Jade saw Tori talk or even look at someone else, Jade would get upset and defensive. I also notice that Jade would always steal glances at Tori when she wasn't looking. And that time Jade missed a whole week of school, I took notice that Tori was wallowing with depression.

It seemed like Tori couldn't function without Jade. When I saw this I knew that something had to be done. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Torus wasn't supposed to be depressed. She wasn't supposed to breaking she was supposed to be happy. And it was obvious that Jade was the thing that made her happy.

And I couldn't stand to see my sister so depressed. Despite of how I seem to treat my sister, I really do care about her and I want what's best for her. A lot of people think I only care about myself but that's not true, if they really got to know me, they would know that I'm actually a really caring person.

I really care for my sister and I knew immediately that I had to take action to fix this problem. The problem was that Jade and Tori obviously had feelings for each other but they are too stupid and blind to see that. So it was up to me to help them out.

Once I heard that Beck and Jade were finished for good, I could already tell that she was going to take it hard. That's why she didn't show up to school for a whole week. to me I don't think she was hiding from Beck, I think that she was really trying to avoid Tori. I could tell she didn't want to be seen by Beck or Tori. Especially Tori Jades plan to avoid her was really stupid.

I mean how are they going to get together if Jade keeps avoiding her? It didn't make sense for Jade to keep pretending to hate Tori because it was obvious that she was in love with her. And when I found out that Jade wasn't going to the show I freaked out and I thought that this has got to stop. They are never going to get together if they don't stop hiding their feelings.

They can't keep acting like this. So it was my job to get them to stop skinny loving each other and get them together. I made a plan to go to Jades house and talk some since into her. And with the help of Sinjin I was able to get Jades address.

That kid is creepy, I thought that I was being "stalker-ish" but this kid takes it to a new level. Once I made it to Jades house I said what I needed to say to try and convince her to go to the show. I said what I needed to say without giving too much away, I didn't want to scream at her and say "Tori has been in love with you this whole entire time, if you don't go to the show you might break her heart!" I couldn't say that. I wasn't who in love with Jade, Tori was so it wasn't my place to say anything.

I was just there to change Jades mind at the last second now it was all up to Tori to tell Jade the truth. So I only hoped that Jade listened to me and I hoped Tori was brave enough to tell Jade everything.

I hoped that everything was going as according to plan but as I left Jades house I started to doubt my plan. I didn't think it was going to work because I was afraid Jade wouldn't show up. I didn't think she listened to me but she's Jade, **_why would she listen to me anyway? _**I had thought that if Jade didn't show up all of this "sneaking around" would have been a waste.

But Jade surprised me, when she showed up at the show. I didn't care that she show up late I was just glad she made it just in time to see Tori perform which is what I wanted to happen. She needed to hear the song because I knew Tori wrote it for her. I was sure my plan was going to work until I had saw that Jade ran off somewhere. I didn't know where she went and at that point I was ready to give up and think that Jade and Tori weren't meant to be. I

But I was proven wrong again when I saw Jade walk back into the crowd with Beck and I saw them both go backstage where Tori was. I followed right behind them to make sure that my plan was still going strong. I watched the scene unfold where it was just Jade and Tori and I swear I cried when I saw them kiss, I knew in that moment I just matched two soul mates together. My job here is done.

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** There you go guys that was it, I would like to thank everyone that reviewed seriously you guy are hilarious and awesome. Thank you guys for everything :D**


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